Endless Summer Nights* - Richard Marx

This is such big news - in the footie world - that i just have to blog about it, even tho it may be old news by now.

Yup, we all know who are the people who are gonna get endless summer nites next year - kept wide awake wondering how in the world they are not playing in the Euro Championship 2008, feeling the pain and the shame. So much so that the millions they have in their bank accounts and the expensive cars parked in their huge garages are not enough to ease the pain. Why, they are David Beckham and his teammates.

I'm just so so surprised at how many people - whom i assumed to be England fans - were rejoicing at the fact tt England will not be in the Euro Championship 2008!!!! I'm one of them too. Of course me Brit mates are all in mourning - but i'm sure most of them, when viewing it objectively will have to agree that this is prolly a good thing to have happened to English football now.

So England is out. But why are so many people happy about it?

Well, i think it has a lot to do with frustration. For far too long, England has promised much but delivered little. Looking at the team, one can see names of big... no, huge stars of the EPL who week in and out produced scintillating footie for all to watch. But when they come on to the international stage, they appear like a deer caught in the headlights, running around like headless chickens and appearing more lost than Sawyer et al.

It has been like this for too long. It was to no one's surprise that they failed at the World Cup in 2006. It was no surprise that they had to struggle to make it into the pass few World Cups! It was like the script is written and they go thru it like zombies.

So i think the patience we have had has worn out. Enough is enough. They deserved not to be in the competition come next year. They are paid millions of pounds but yet continue to disappoint us. Is it any wonder why we are all so glad?

No, we are not fair-weathered fans. If they had performed well and given their best and still lost, would we not all stand by them proudly? Compare the situation with Northern Ireland and Scotland - they are out also but they do so with their pride intact and their heads held high - and their fans firmly behind them.

If they had managed to scrap thru to the Euro finals competition nx year, all their under-performing would be forgotten. The problems will be swept conveniently under the rug for another 2 years or so. So as a true fan, i am glad this happened - they need a wake up call. They need to hurt so that they'd buck up. I can only see good coming out from this defeat. The shame and the pain is not gonna be easily forgotten or shrugged off. It'll stay for a while. It'l return with a vengeance come next summer when the competition starts. It'll be a source of motivation to do better.

As it is, the good is already taking place. The coach is finally sacked. Perhaps now they'll get a real coach (no pun intended - me not a capello fan). A coach who has actually tasted success in the international scene (not one who hasn't even been close in the domestic one!) and knows what to do when the chips are against them. A coach who does not fear nor recognise egos but picks his team based on what is needed to win.

It remains to be seen. When the previous coach left, it was just a case of out of the frying pan but into the fire. Now that they've languished in the fire for a while, where will they end up? Can it get any worse?

I shudder to think.

p/s - pic taken from BBC News Online

*His 3rd single from his debut album released sometime in the late 80s.

Mood swings* - Debbie Gibson

It was one of the better days.

I thought the class went pretty alrite. One of the rare moments when i was satisfied wif me own "performance".

Thereafter, i was running on pure adrenalin (and on some pretty darn good pineapple tarts!). It was one thing after another, culminating in me taking the place of another lecturer to judge a moot.

We had fun, we were stressed, we threatened to kill each other at least once - well, i threatened at least once! We laughed a lot, and cringed even more. When it was finally over, i felt this sense of overwhelming pride - at those who worked with super(wo)men strength, at those who showed their brilliance, at those who lived up to their abilities, at everyone who showed that they can stand up and be counted. There was the relief that it was finally over - and the usual feeling of emptiness that follows it.

Oh, and i oso got to take some pics! :-)

But the day was not over. The memorial service in the evening brought soberness and perspective to everything. It brought tears. It brought smiles. It brought a reminder of the hope and joy that awaits us all. It brought warmth in my heart as i think if Jit, in his usual friendly and warm way, with that trademark disarming grin on his face, meeting dad in heaven, sharing notes on how simply it is to be freed from the pains of this human shell and be in God's presence forever.

It also gave me a chance to catch up with people whom i normally won't meet - except when someone dies.

The day ended with a brilliant supper among close frens and a much longed-for hot shower when i finally crept into me house after midnite.

And despite just having less than 3 hours of sleep before a full long day, i did not feel tired. Maybe it was just passed my bedtime.

Yet, when the excitement had all died down, when the laughter and tears had subsided, when the mellowness of the wee hours of the morning starts creeping in, there is this strange feeling of dissatisfaction. Strange, since it was one of the better days. Strange, since i couldn't have asked for more. But after all that has been said and done, i still long... yearn for something else. To be somewhere else. To be with someone else - or more precisely, some other people. Strange, since i'm in my house but i dun feel like i'm home...

*One of my fav songs of hers, taken from her Anything is Possible album

Let's run away* - Debbie Gibson

Anyone wanna come along?

*The last track from her Think with your heart album.

Star* - Bryan Adams

I can't really say why i love this movie. I doubt if it'll ever come near to the all time fav movies of mine. It was entertaining for sure. The cast was good - from Bob De Niro to Michelle Pfeiffer, to the hilarious Ricky Gervais, Mark Strong, relatively new Charlie Cox and a delightful Rupert Everett. Good special effects too.

But what made it stand out from the rest these days can surely be attributed to 2 factors. The first was the surprisingly brilliant performance by Claire Danes.

Yes, there was something about the way how she glowed - no, not the special effects but how she really literally glowed! Even without the special effects, one could see it in her expression, from a frustrated and scared fallen star to a girl in love.

And her lines - really love them. Here are some:-

There are shop boys, and there are boys that just happened to work in a shop for the time being.

Hmm... Murdered by pirates, a heart torn out and eaten, meet Victoria... Can't quite decide which sounds more fun...

You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

I read that Sarah Michelle Gellar was asked first to take the role of Yvaine. But in spite of how big a Buffy fan i am, i can say that i'm quite glad Claire Danes got the role.

The other thing about the movie is the fantasy fairy tale nature of it. New worlds, beautiful sights, plurality of characters, endless adventures. A tale of being in a place but knowing that you really belong somewhere else.

Maybe that's how i feel now - and altho i haven't found my "happily ever after" ending, i could live vicariously off the characters on screen... at least for those few sweet minutes in a darkened cinema.

*A song used in the movie Jack, starring Robin Williams.

We didn't start the fire* - Billy Joel

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason and plot,
I know of no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes day! I forgot!!!! Can't believe it passed me by without me realising it. Was reminded of it when i took time today to read some of me mates' blogs.

It'll always bring back memories...

...memories of wondering why the kids are walking around the streets carrying a dummy - an effigy of someone...

...memories of a life time ago when a group of us walked home late at nite from the carnival, kicking the dry leaves strewn all over the ground, enjoying the cold of autumn and the fireworks spectacle in the skies...

...memories of gazing out of me 11th floor window all nite, seeing the brilliant colours of the fireworks, near and far, lighting up the skies...

...memories of an EasyJet flight back to London from Paris, where a heavy and worrisome heart was lifted by the sight of fireworks going off below us, above London...

...memories of sitting all alone in the Paris airport - where there was this guy - ears plugged wif headphones from his MP3 player - had tears streaming down his face. A grown man, openly crying in a public place. Yet, there was this strange look on his tears-streaked face - a mixture of pain and joy. It was like he was leaving Paris, and leaving something - or someone extremely special. The thought of that someone brought joy, but the thought of leaving brought pain... Or did i just imagine it all?

*A number 1 song (in the US) which makes reference to historical events during his lifetime.

Waiting for Wednesday* - Lisa Loeb and the 9 Stories

Wednesdays are my movie days!!! With discounted price, i make it a point to catch a movie a week. It's something i used to do b4 i went over to the UK, and now i'm back, i've resumed the said practice!

However, wif the amount of work i have these days, it's a shocker (to me close mates) that i've not watched a movie in the local cinemas since... Resident Evil: Extinction!!!

So it was wif some relish when we broke for a couple or more days break recently - and i decided to catch some movies wif a vengeance!!!! i watched 3 show back to back - that's the same number of movies i watched while i was living in Colchester!!!!

I decided on a mixed bag of shows, so i chose 1408 (a last minute decision, taking the place of 30 Days of Nights which i guess will still be playing longer than 1408), Stardust and Shoot Em Up! I have everything - horror, fantasy, action, love, comedy, great actors and actresses. Yup, it was satisfying indeed - and for the first time in a long while, i stopped thinking about Criminal Law/Family Law for a few hours!!!!

Just a quickie review - 1408 wasn't as good a i thought it'd be. It was entertaining but not scary enuf. Still, it had John Cusack!!! Shoot Em Up was exactly wat i expected - and i still laugh at those local-movie-reviewers-political journalist wannabe/rejects who not only berate the movie but insult those (like moi! :-)) who enjoyed it!!! It's so sad that they are so stuffed-up that they just failed to see that the movie is not to be taken seriously. It would take an absolute fool to take it so and complain about the reality and the lack of a plausible plot. This over-the-top at its highest!!!!

Stardust? Brilliant! Good enuf to warrant a separate post by itself!

The main disappointment was the lack of trailers. In fact, i din get to see any trailers at all!!!! Maybe it's cuz i was running from one cinema hall to another and i missed it all. But i did catch some pretty good commercials.

The first is a really old Carlsberg ad - but new to me. How i know its old? It's got Cisse on it!!!!!! Check it out:-



And my fav ad at this point of time - you've prolly seen it numerous times too. I really like it:-



*Taken from her album, Tails, it is the highest charting song in the Billboard Top 100 chart with the word "Wednesday" in its title!!!! Now, that's trivia! ;-P

Cry for help* - Rick Astley

Channel 10 newsreader Charmaine Dragun was successful, intelligent, talented and popular.

The 29-year-old seemed to have it all - a loving family, a long-term relationship and a stellar career as a prime-time news anchor.

Yet on Friday the "beautiful and bubbly" Dragun jumped to her death at The Gap - a notorious suicide spot in Sydney's Eastern Suburbs.

(read the whole report here)

When i read about her suicide a couple of days ago (from the report here), i felt rather troubled. There were 2 things which disturbed me.

The first was the thought of how many people are like Charmaine Dragun - and how many of those will follow the unfortunate path that she chose.

It just goes to show how some people can be so good at putting up a facade, having a mask on all the time, when behind it tears flow and pain reside. Success and popularity can never bring contentment and satisfaction.

More often than not, we see the swan gliding effortlessly and gracefully along the surface of the water - we never see how it is kicking furiously and at times, frantically below the surface just to keep afloat and keep moving.

It is so sad that whatever was getting her down was so great that it literally pushed her over the edge.

How much do we need a reason to live, a purpose in our lives.

The second which disturbed me was the report of her "friends" who have now all come forward to speak well of her. They talk now of her brave battle with depression. My question is where were they when she finally caved in? If they knew of her serious depression, why did they not do something more? Get hep for her? Make sure she doesn't wander off to suicide areas on her own? Don't we all owe it to our friends to be there for them, esp in time of need? Isn't it too late now to talk about how she was "determined not to let (the depression) to control her" when it clear now that it did?

One of her colleagues (not one of those "friends") was quoted saying "No one had any idea how sad she must have been. People are now wondering if we should have taken more interest in what was going on in her life."

Is there anyone that we need to take more interest in their lives today? It's scary to think of what may happen if we failed to make that effort and time just to find out how someone is doing. I've gotta keep reminding meself of that - and maybe if we spend more time and interest in other people, we may just be able to hear their cry for help before its too late.

*His last major hit, it featured a gospel choir arranged by Andraé Crouch.

Bell bottom blues* - Derek and the Dominoes

I must admit that it was with some reluctance that i dragged meself out of bed and got ready to go for the above annual dinner. After all, being in the Law Programme, i only get to work wif very limited number of staff on campus and in the short span of time being there, i haven't really gotten close to anyone.

And when i arrived and checked out the pre-dinner activities, it appeared like me fears were confirmed. I found the activities to be pretty lame!!!! It was like some "Canteen Day" thingy with games like pin the horn on the cow (or watever animal it was), throwing hoops, magnetic fishing, darts and the best - knocking nails into a wooden chopping board. Still, i must admit that it was kinda fun seeing a bunch of adults behaving like teenagers and just having a good time. After all, tt's wat it's all about isn't it?

I wouldn't know since this was my first experience at an annual dinner of a huge corporation (my previous company's annual dinners will usually take up at most 2 tables!!! If we have one...).

But as the nite went on, i found meself enjoying it a little - yes, i confess!!!! The music played all nite long were the kind i'd listen to growing up - The Beatles, Queen, Phil Collins and all the songs from th disco era! :-)

2 things really made it a nite to remember for me - and no, neither of it is the fact that i won a 32" Phillips flat screen TV during the lucky draw!!! ;-)

The first was the dance competition. I must say it was truly enjoyable. Some tried really hard and you have to give credit to them for their efforts. Others - in particular, the first team were bloody good!!!! Unfortunately, they lost out to another team which really put in the extra effort like having 3 change of costumes during their performance. What really made my nite were the names they gave themselves. Like the winning team was called "The ThunderButt Sisters"!!!! But the one that cracked up - and still is cracking me up now is the team that called themselves "The BOOGERS"!!!!!!!!!

I really think that they thought that those who boogie are called boogers!!!!!! Well, maybe they din think so and the name was all in good fun. NOT!!!!!

The BOOGERS!!!! Rtflol!!!!!

The second event was the presentation for long-term service and excellence awards. As i sat there watching these people take their prizes, i watch wif some level of respect at how some people can stay loyal to one place for so many years. Some had been teaching for 25 years!!!! Will i have such a staying power? Such commitment? And as i clapped for those who received rewards for excellence, i wondered if i'll ever be good enuf to be recognised as such...

But after more thought about it, i decided that the true recognition will come, not with an award of a trophy and 600 quid in front of me peers, but rather, from me students. It has been my prayer from day 1 that somehow, i can make a small difference in their lives for good. As i struggle daily to even prepare my lessons, i must admit there is always the constant fear of letting them down, of not being good enuf, of killing off their interest and enthusiasm if i dun do it right.

There have been really good days and not so good ones. I thank God for one such as yesterday where i thought the class went pretty well. And on top of that, just sitting around wif a couple of me students after class hours, talking and sharing and just connecting with them - well, those are priceless moments for me.

I'm still taking baby steps into this whole new world - but someday, i hope that i will receive some confirmation that i did play a positive part in their lives.

I'll just end off with one of the most brilliant scenes in modern cinema - perhaps a scene which played big role in me ending up where i am today. It never fails to leave me wif dry eyes each time i see it - altho if you din watch the movie, you may be wondering wats it all about!!!!. If any of you wanna watch it, you can come over to me house and we can watch it on me spanking brand new 32" flat screen TV! Muahahahaha!!!!!



*Written by Eric Clapton, it featured only him on the guitars. This was a song about a girl he dated but she couldn't speak English so he had to depend on an interpretor. He performed this song again in his Royal Albert Hall concert accompanied by an orchestra! Wonderful!

One fine day* - Natalie Merchant

What a wonderful day!!! When i woke up, the sun was peeking out thru the clouds, marking the end of a very extremely wet Monday!

Then, as one of me mates love to say in typical Malaysian manner - "Started la"! As i was walking away from me house, i realised i din have me belt on. Go back. Upon reaching office, i discovered to my horror that my pen drive is still stuck in my laptop at home!!!!!!

Had to rush home to go get it as me lecture slides and some video clips (which i stayed up til 5 am preparing) were all in it.

Managed to get back on time, tho, thanks to Weng Soon (cheers, mate). Needed water and coffee. Couldn't get neither as there was no water in the staffroom. Rushed to the lecture theatre only to discover that the LCD projector decided to give up on me.

Tried to drink from the nearby water-cooler only to find that it wasn't working.

Had to find another lecture theatre which was available. Moved everyone to LT3 only to discover that some engineering students were having some presentations and kept us out for a bit.

When i got in, i realised that LT3 only allows me to use either the LCD screen or the white board, not like LT7. I needed to use both so had to improvise.

Then, i discovered that the sound was not coming out from the speakers - so din get to show the video clip in the end.

As you can imagine, by then, i wasn't at my best to deliver any lectures. Felt like i did a bad job.

It started to rain again and it began to start freezing in me room. I knew it then that i'm falling sick.

I'm sick now - but still have to prepare for tomorrow's lectures. Doctor told me not to be a hero. But there's so much to cover for Criminal Law and as it is, we have lost a few lectures due to holidays and other activities and will lose another full week come Deepavali next month.

On top of all that, still hurting over England's loss last weekend at paris and Hamilton losing by one point at Brazil. At least Alonso din win... And peeved at the fact that a fren tried to set me up wif a psychopathic girl knowingly!!!!!

Oh well... we all have one of them days like these, dun we? Hopefully, i've used up my quota for the year. Or for the decade!!!

Anyways, it could be worse, rite? And i can think of many blessings to be thankful for.

*Taken from the soundtrack of the movie with the same name, starring George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Words get in the way* - Jewel

Like sleeping but not resting,
Like hurting but not crying,
Like eating but not tasting,
Like singing in tune but out of beat,
Like a sunrise with the clouds blocking the sun,
Like a rose without its smell,
Like seeing your photo, but not being able to touch you
Like being happy but not joyful,
Like letting go but not forgetting

Could this be the beginning of the end? For this blog, i mean.

I look back at the past few posts and even i find this blog to be getting a tad bit boring. Ok, maybe more than a tad bit?

All i have done is just linked some news report, or reproduced some cheesy lyrics of some old song, posted up some pics, talked about a book which no one is prolly reading these days and gave some abrupt updates on my less than happening life.

It's not like i dowan to blog. But when i do, i find that i can't. It's not that i have nothing to say. On the contrary... but yet, words fail me.

I could say that my lessons preparation have taken up all my time and energy.

I could blame Facebook.

Maybe it's cuz of the fact that students are reading this blog now. Or maybe i'm afraid more people would take my words and twist it around. Maybe i'm scared i may hurt people i care with my honesty. Maybe this blog should be renamed "Truly Madly..." and i leave all those things deep inside where they are. But i should let them out, shouldn't i? Well, i did start a new blog which up till now is still postless.

Maybe its just a phase...

*Track #7 from her last album, going back to her folk acoustic roots.