Feeling good* - Michael Bublé

"So how does it feel to be a father?" Someone asked me that - and i couldn't answer him. Not immediately. I feel good! But it was more than just that.

Where shall I start? I have been overwhelmed by so many feelings and emotions since the day - no, the moment I saw her for the first time in the delivery room. I'll never forget that feeling. It was the best feeling I have ever experienced in m life. I way over the moon. Heck, I was over Mars and Venus too!

Since then, almost 1 month has passed. It has been a crazy one month, with our learning curve as parents going up steeply and quickly, with visits to the doctors, with reading so much to learn so many things, and at the same time, catching up on work in a crazy last few weeks of the term, not to mention suffering from dengue fever!!!

Truth be told, part of the reason why I could not answer the question on the spot was simply cuz I din know the answer. I mean, I know what I have been feeling but I have not had the opportunity to really sit down and think about it.

Yes, I *am* happy - to say the least. I'm proud. I'm ecstatic. I feel so blessed. God has been so good and gracious to us by blessing us this way.

And yet, at the same time, I feel afraid. I am scared. This is the real thing. There is no trial run. We cannot reboot it nor can we start afresh if we mess it up. Are we up to it? Will we do a good job? How will she turn out to be? Are we really ready? But can anyone ever say that they are?

And I know also that this blessing will bring together with it moments of hurt, feelings of helplessness, sleepless nights, stressful and worrisome days... But that is what we "signed up" for. The price to pay will be high - but at the same time, we know - and we were just reminded by the speaker tonight - that the rewards are sure. And the rewards are priceless. And the rewards will truly outweigh the sacrifices that we will have to make.

Is it any wonder why I could not answer that question immediately? There are just too many answers!!! But I am glad he asked it - and I am glad I have the time to think about it.

*His remake of this wonderful jazz song originally sung by Nina Simone. 

Waiting for that day* - George Michael

Another new day at Ipoh... 

3 days have come and gone since the day when she was suppose to come. Today does not seem like the day too... but then again, we won't be surprised if she decides to show up! 

We've been preparing for this day for so long - and we've been expecting her since last week. Yet, she still seems to be comfortable where she is and is delaying her coming. 

Well, to say that we've been preparing for so long may not be so accurate. Sure, we've been making the arrangements etc. but truth be told, i've been so busy lately that altho her coming has been on my mind a lot, i've not really been preparing myself very well. So in that sense, it is a good thing that she is not here yet - the extra days have been used to prepare myself - mentally and physically (trying to get lots of rest!!!). The missus and i have also been spending a lot of time together knowing that times like these will not be easilly found when she's here.

So while the tension is high and the suspense is great, we are still enjoying ourselves and looking with great anticipation for her appearance! I hope it'll be sooner rather than later as i have to get back to work soon...

We may not always get what we want - but God will give us everything we need!

*Taken from his brilliant Listen without Prejudice album, this song is medley-ed with You can't always get what you want.

Do you hear the people sing?* - Cast of Les Miserables

I woke up a few times. Couldn't really sleep well. perhaps it was anxiety. Perhaps it was the excitement. I'm sure there was some sadness too. It's probably a combination of all three.

Anyways, i wanted to get up early and go before everyone else.By the time i got there, a steady queue has been formed - and it was growing by the second!!!

By the time 8 o'clock struck, i couldn't see where the line ended. It just went on and on and rounded a corner at the bottom of the street. I was glad that they opened the gates on the dot. Having said that, there was another round of waiting when we got it. We were herded and amde to stand in line following our allocated stream. It was like school assembly all over again! When we finally were called to go to the classrooms, we had to wait while tehy verified (paintakingly) the details of each voter before allowing them to do their thing! But it was all over. 

As i walked me mom out of the school and back to her house, the crowd was in full strength! It felt good. Really. Even from the start of my wait, i was touched by the fact that people took it so seriously that they actually decided to wake up early on a Sunday morning and queue up. Spirits were high and stangers chat with each other, their main common ground is that we are all Malaysians and we all want to play our part. When they called for senior citizens to move up ahead of the queue, one could see so many of them - some with the aid of walking sticks, most who should have been in bed instead of being out in the humidity - actually wanting to vote. Surely not for themselves (only). They are doing it - I'm sure - for their children and their grandchildren. I saw a frail old man being wheeled on a wheelchair. I heard later how this mentally challenged young man with a paralysed right hand still wanted to go and make his mark, literally. 

Truth be told, i felt a little down in recent days - partly due to the fact that some people have decided not to vote. Some of them are even proud about it, some amking a joke of the whole thing. I felt sad. I felt sadder when others commend these people. 

But today, i can see that these are in the minority.For today, I saw my fellow citizens coming out together on huge numbers and in one voice, from all ages, of all backgrounds, a lot are physically challenged, braving the heat and uncomfortableness, sacrificing their time and more, going to cast their vote. I do not know who they have voted for but I am proud to be one of them today who got our nails blue (tho for some, not for long) and who fulfilled our duty to our beloved country.

You could almost hear them singing together that we are Malaysians and we want to have a say in the democratic process of our nation. We are singing a song that tells others that we care. 

*This song was chosen to be the closing song for the movie version released recently.

A change would do you good* - Sheryl Crow

Why would one want to vote for the oppostion? Are we not living comfortable lives here? Do we want to risk the stability we enjoy? Should we not be happy with the way things are? We can surely name many other countries in a worse condition when compared with our country. 

So why should I vote for the opposition? Because i have had enough of the racism in this country (even BN consist of parties which are divided by race!!!). I have had enough of being asked what my race is even though I am Malaysian. I have had enough of the corruption we see everyday. I have had enough of the exploitation - and although i live in some comfort, many others are denied basic human rights and necessities. I have had enough of people getting (filthy) rich unjustly and no action is taken against them. I have had enough of the arrogance - which is understandable after being in power and in control for more than half a century. 

By voting for the opposition, i hope i spread the message that if the government does not perform satisfactory, then we the people can remove them. Similarly, this message should go to the opposition that if they come into power and likewise are corrupt and racist etc, then we the people can remove them. I see the good done in Penang (although some have gone to great lengths to cover it) and i hope the same good will come to this country too. I cannot be 100% sure what will happen if the opposition win - but i can be sure of what will happen if they don't. And because of that, my vote this Sunday is pretty much confirmed.

I hope to vote for a better future for my children. If the future for them is improved, then i will be so happy. If the future is not good, i hope they will forgive me - but still be proud knowing that i dared to do something to make a change for the better.

* The 4th single from her 2nd album.

I saw her standing there* - The Beatles

 I saw her the other day. I shouldn't have been surprised about it but i was not prepared for it.

I must say that she looked really good! And i have to admit that she looks much better than when she was with me.

I guess i could have taken better care of her when she was with me. But i must say that she was expensive to maintain - and truth be told, i din think that she was worth it.

The incident did bring back memories of the time we spent together. Since 2007!!! The first long trip we took was to Penang. We also went to the east coast together, just the two of us.

But she's with someone else now - Sam. And he's taking real good care of her. I joked with him that i would like to have her back!!! Sam said that he would take good care of her and make sure she look good. Well, i'm happy for her! 

I have another car now but she, the purple Wira will always have a special place in my heart.

*Apparently, this song was originally titled "Seventeen"! Love this song. But then again, it's the Beatles! What is there to not love about their songs?

The final countdown* - Europe

This is it! According to the doctors, it can happen anytime now!!! 

There is about 2 more weeks before the due date - but who knows? She may want to enter this world sooner. Maybe she want to expereince the GE13!!! Maybe she wants her mommie to have a special Mother's Day and be able to celebrate it this year and not next. 

 We've been so busy so i guess it really have not sunk in yet. Not to its full extent. It helped when the doctor started explaning the beginning of the end - what the wife will be going thru and what we will have to do. Truth be told, it all seems a little surreal at the moment. But the "sur" will be evaporating soon! Anytime now... 

The place where it all ends - and where it will begin...

*Aruguably their most popular song with the so familiar sythe intro.

This used to be my playground* - Madonna

This is brilliant! And it moved me to tears...

*Featured in the movie, A League of Their Own, this is one of my fav songs of hers.

Everything changes* - Take That

Ladies and gentlemen, this is my 1000th post in this blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since 11112006. Almost 6 and a half years... 

Well, that's not a lot of posts. But this is a milestone of some sorts.

I know that if i just go and read the old posts, i will be transported back to those days. I will be brought back to Essex, to Barking, to London, to the life back then. I will feel the joy and taste the bitterness, i will ache again and cry once more.

I may not understand everything i have written. I will probably not feel the same way as i felt last time. I would laugh at myself for the kind of things that had happened and the the type of thoughts i was having.

Well, that *is* to be expected. Things change. People change. The only thing that is constant is the fact that everything changes.

In my post on my other blog, i talked about the changes in my life these past few months (see here). But do i regret anything? To be honest, there are some stupid things that i wished i did not do, some words which i should not have said, some people whom i should not have hurt...

But in spite of that, i am gald of the other things that have happened, the people whom i have met in these past few years, the places i have been. I am glad of the happiness i have experienced - and even the pain and the hurt i had to go thru. That's because i am who i am now because of all i have gone thru. I am who i am now because of the influence that the people around me have had on me. And i am in a place where i am thankful and i rejoice in everything the good Lord has blessed me with.

Yes, the song goes "everything changes but you...". And i can truly testify that in spite of the fact that status quo cannot be maintained forever, God will be the same - yesterday, today and forever. And that gives me hope to carry on.

Before i end my 1000th post, i just wanna say that things are going to change even more in these coming months! Yes, someone is coming into my life soon - and my life will never be the same anymore. And regarding this change - well, lemme quote Heidi Murkoff from her book, "What to expect - the first year":-

"It helps to keep in mind that change, while always challenging, can be exciting too. Though there's no doubt that it will be - in so many ways - richer and better than ever."

*The title track of their album which never fails to bring me back to London in 1994!

Feels like home* - LeAnn Rimes

Finally, after close to 3 months since getting the keys to our house (see here). The path to actually getting to move in was just as rocky as the path to purchasing the house!!! But that journey has come to and end. It has been 2 months since we've moved in and we have settled in well. We are really thankful to God as we like the place very much!!!

But it is not perfect. If you look at the photo above, things look really nice! Take a closer look and you will see how shoddy the workmanship is for the renovation carried out. Things were done in a thoughless and careless manner. Our moving in was postponed many times - thank God we were allowed to extend the rental of our flat or else we would have been squatters for a couple of weeks. Promises made by our contractor was constantly and consistenly broken. He had also promised to provide a lorry and help to us when we had to move our stuffs in. On the fateful day, he told us he cannot do so - it was obvious that he could not finish the work at our house and hoped that by not providing the lorry, we will have to postpone our moving in again. But thank God again that we managed to make alternative arrangements and moved in - yeah, we were living there when the house was still a mess, workers carrying out their jobs. 

Even to this day, the work is not completed yet. He has promised to come to finish it up - and broken his promise many times too. To be honest, it was really frustrating at times. I got so mad whenever i see the shoddy work carried out in my house. It is such an embarassment. These people take absolutely NO pride in what they do. If they think they can get away with not doing something, they will try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh? 

The longer i stayed there, the more i see the slip-shot manner they carried out the renovation. A classic example was this - they made a "manhole" in the ceiling so that one can go up above the ceiling and carry out repairs if needed. When the water filter people came to wash the water tank, they discovered that the manhole was cut in a place where it was impossible for anyone to go through it!!!! The person who cut the manhole just did it and did not care if it was fit for purpose. He must have surely realised it but did not bother at all. 

Sigh... Having said all that, it really feels good to have a place to call home. For Valentine's day, we decided to celebrate it at home - and it was probably better than any place that we could have gone to (and spent a bomb)!!! 

So sure, it may not be a perfect house - we noted that there could be termites too... - but it surely feels like a home to us. After all, it is not the building that makes a house a home. 

*Taken from her 3rd album. I really like her voice!

With a little help from my friends* - The Beatles

I finally caught the newest trailer for Ironman 3!!!



So so good!!!!

I'm one of the few people that i know who is looking forward to this movie. A lot of me mates were disappointed with Ironman 2. To me, it wasn't as good as the first one, of course, but it was still good!!!

But this trailer only made me long even more for it!!!! If you want to know little details you can get from this trailer, you can read about it here.

This scene really got me excited too!!!! Back-up!!!!

*This song was written for their drummer who sang it! Ringo!!!