I run away* - Britney Spears

She lowered her head and began to tremble, crying. And so she did the only thing she could do - what she'd done earlier: closing her eyes, lowering her head, she went away. The place she'd escaped into... earlier today. Her secret place, her music room.

Taken from A Maiden's Grave by Jeffrey Deaver

I met up wif Ken and LP the other day - they came back from Melbourne for a visit. As we chatted, LP asked, "So how have you been - settled back here well?"

There was an apparent moment of silence before said "Yes". Then, i said "Yes" again - this time, firmer and wif more conviction, as if trying to convince meself.

Truth be told, i was surprised at the hesitation in my reply. I have settled back into life here. There's no doubt about it! I dun go about dreaming about life back in the UK - nor do i long for it and cry meself to sleep over it!!! i've got me mates here wif whom i go out wif all the time.

But...

If that is really true, then why is it when things are bad, i automatically run back to Rayleigh Tower, or to Food-on-3 - my music rooms? Why is it i take refuge in KeKe's room wif the rest, or watch something on Michael's laptop in his room wif him? Why do i long to see Kathy's eyes light up, or hear Sachin and Michelle squabble in the kitchen? Why do i miss Barry's funny voices and singing, or Judy's Woody Woodpecker's laugh? Why do i end up dancing on the benches wif me flat mates or break out into song wif me workmates while moping the floors of Food-on-3?

Home is where the heart is - they say. But if i'm home, then why does my heart run off somewhere else when things dun seem to be going right?

*A bonus track in the non-US edition of her 3rd album, Britney.