Saturday, 29 March 2008

Someone to watch over me* - Renee Olstead

"Dun worry. i will take care of you when u r old"

"But i AM old..."


*Her version of this Gershwin classic which was written for the musical, Oh Kay!

Friday, 28 March 2008

Dear Diary* - Britney Spears

Finally! I get to remove Diary of a young girl from the list of 'Stuffs i want' on me Facebook Profile!

Yeah, kinda sad that up till now, i haven't read it yet. Was never really interested to read it, to be honest. But it all changed in October 2006, when i visited Amsterdam.

All the guidebooks told me that i simply MUST visit Anne Frank's house. Well, alrite, then. So i went. Early in the morning, as advised as the queues can be really long!

Anne's house - you can see the queue outside (bottom right)

A statute of Anne in Amsterdam

I dun regret it at all. if i never saw another place in Holland, it wouldn't have mattered!

It was such a powerful and moving experience. Sure, it was just some narrow hidden rooms in an old house. But but... you have to be there to feel it. I was transported back in time and could see, feel, smell and imagined hat Anne whad to go thru - the fear, the frustration, the feeling of being locked up and cut off from the world, longing to just be outside, to feel the breeze in your face...

I knew then i had to get me hands on her book too. I finally did today! At Borders.

It was a pleasant surprise when i discovered that Borders opened a store at the Gardens in Mid-Valley. So while waiting for me mate to get his laptop fixed, i settled meself on a leather armchair and started reading. Ah... just like the good old days in London! :-)

Grisham has a new book out - The Appeal - while The Innocent Man is now available in paperback.

I was reading Deaver's collection of short stories in Twisted - and the sequel, More Twisted was available too - 2 for 1!!!! Was so tempted to buy them all.

On top of that, me colleague has lent me Haruki Murakami's A wild sheep chase!!!!

So many books to read... so is it good that we are having 'reading week' next week? Well, no, actually. :-( Have tonnes of work to do. *sigh*

But in due time. In due time...

*The last track from her 2nd studio album.

Flying without wings* - Ruben Studdard

It is possible! :-)

*His R&B cover version of Westlife's classic(?).

My all* - Mariah Carey

Principle II during BSF this week - 'True worship of Christ requires our surrender'.

As usual, i had great difficulties singing the following song which was sung after the group discussion:-

All to Jesus I surrender;
all to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
in his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
all to thee, my blessed Savior,

I surrender all.

J.W. Van Deventer

I couldn't... without sounding like a hypocrite. If only we can change the words to "I want to surrender all...", or "I'll try to surrender all...", or "I know I should surrender all..."...

*This was her 13th no. 1 hit in the US Billboard Hot 100 chart, making her the female artist with the most no. 1 hits in the US.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

My heart will go on* - Celine Dion

But, you just got home.

home? where is home? is it where my heart is?

i live in subang - but it sure doesnt feel like home...

i guess any offer to go off would sound tempting...

Home is where the heart is? Then, if you keep your heart in yourself, wherever you go, you'd be at home, wouldn't you? ...

What a cliche. But, you only lapse into cliche when you feel it the most (according to a certain professor in York.) ...

is our heart the organ that is pumping blood unceasingly til the day we die?

my heart is somewhere else. and with someone else. altho that someone is not in that somewhere. i dun make sense but i dun intend to.

And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on.
Byron.—Childe Harold, Canto III. Stanza 32.

*Yes, it's that song. I actually liked it - till the radio killed it!

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Lie to me* - Bon Jovi

OK. So, in addition to the long list of unpleasant things that we know you are, we know now that you are also a liar...

Did you really think i wouldn't be able to find out the truth????

*One of the many rock ballads from my fav album of theirs, These Days. Listening to the album always brings back memories of CLP and of Steph who made a copy of th album for me!

Dilemma* - Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland

Why is it that the offer sounds more and more tempting?

Is it just an excuse to run away?

Do i have enuf of the big city life and am longing for a quieter lifestyle?

Perhaps it's just time to move on... again.

It doesn't help by the fact that she gave her approval!

But it would be irresponsible of me, won't it?

And i'll miss them...

*Love this song! It was also Kelly's first international solo single away from Destiny's Child.

Monday, 24 March 2008

Faithful* - Go West

Easter 2008 has come and gone. It has been a very different kind of Easter this year. But more about that later.

We had Tony Anthony with us this Easter. I'm sure just like meself, most of us would not easily forget one of the true story he told us - it was about this man who lived in Sydney years ago. To cut the long story short, for 40 years, this man went along George Street and handed out Christian pamphlets to strangers, asking them if they died, would they go to heaven or to hell. Day in and day out, he would do that. Many people actually became Christians as a result of their encounter on George Street - people who came from all over the world and from all walks of life.

Someone tried to do the math and figured that more than 150,000 people became Christians as a result of this one man. This is based on the number of people who confirmed actually meeting this man - there are prolly many more in the world.

It was only when he was old and frail when people discovered the extent of his efforts. He was visited and told of the fruits of his labour. With tears rolling down his wrinkled cheeks, he said that for the 40 years of doing that, he never knew of anyone who actually believed in the message.

Now that's faithfulness! He never gave up. He kept on at it. That was all he could do - so he did it.

I am reminded that God has not called us to be successful. He called us to be faithful.

p/s - Easter this year is one of the earliest i've ever celebrated. Easter almost crept up on me. There was also no Easter Conference! It was also one of the rare ones where we did not come out wif a presentation. So no practices, no scripts to memorise, no songs to learn. We decided to let Tony take over the entire meeting - so all we did was just handled the worship session. It was fun playing together in a band - i must get a good guitar... once i have enuf money. It makes such a huge difference!!!!

*One of the 2(?) hits that they are remembered for!

Look away* - Chicago

I was advised not to get involved.

You are still new. Keep a low profile. It's not worth it. There's nothing you can do. Nothing will be achieved. It's gonna get pretty messy. Life's like that.

I couldn't. I wouldn't. It was affecting people whom i care for.

Last Friday, i received confirmation that action will be taken - even if i did not raise it up.

*One of their big post-Peter Cetera hits. It was the no. 1 song of 1988 on the Billboard Chart.

Saturday, 22 March 2008

Go the distance* - Michael Bolton

This has been a memorable day for me. I've set a new personal best.

Well, to many, it may not be a biggie. But it is to me. I've never run so far before at one go. What made it really sweet was that i did it well within the qualifying time set for the KL International Marathon which is scheduled next week.

Yes, i've signed up for the 10 km run. And i decided to go for a trial run this morning. I wasn't confident that i could finish it on time. I was certain i wouldn't be able to do it all in one go. During practices, the most i've run is around 6.6 km. I did manage once a 9.9 km part run part walk which took me an hour and a half.

So there i was, at a very deserted Independence Square at 6 in the morning under a very bright full moon, starting off me run. Less than 70 mins later i was back there again, having covered the 10 km!

I covered the distance without stopping. I covered the distance well within the the 80 minute time limit set for the race next week. And i felt really good.

The main difference is the time of the run - i have only run in the evenings, not being the morning person. This was the first time i did a morning run - and i felt the difference. So much fresher - both me and the weather. And the fact that i wasn't running around in circles made the run more pleasurable.

I'm so happy i did it. It's gonna be a little different next week. The race is held later than my run this morning and so it could be warmer. And there'll be a thousand plus others running - this could push me further or it could ruin my pace. I could be too over-confident after covering it so easily today. My shoes - which has gone up Mount Kinabalu and survived UK with me - may not last the distance (i'm resisting buying a new pair for the race - lemme complete it and reward meself wif a brand new pair).

I just hope i can complete it again within the time allocated.

*The theme song for the Disney animated movie, Hercules. Was nominated but did not win in the Golden Globes and Academy Awards.

Because of you* - Kelly Clarkson

I am reminded of some things in this past week which left me scared.

I am reminded that I am not perfect - I do make mistakes.

That is not scary as that is fairly obvious. Nobody's perfect. Not me, anyways. What made it scary is that other people may pay because of your mistakes.

I was let off the hook this time. Will i be fortunate again the next time round?

*She wrote this song when she was 16 to cope with the breakdown of her parent's marriage.

This used to be my playground* - Madonna

We start at Dataran Merdeka, go pass Dayabumi, get on the palace road and run by the Istana, turn up and go by Dewan Bahasa and Pustaka, go along jalan Hang Tuah, pass Pudu Jail, along Jalan Imbi, turn back and go along Bukit Bintang, passing by the Pavilion, turn down Sultan Ismail, go along Raja Chulan right up til the KL Tower, turn left and go back down to Sultan Ismail, pass Concorde and Hard Rock, go along til Jalan Raja Laut and go down right to the end!

I was describing the 10 km route for the KLIM next weekend. Someone commented that i seem to know KL really well.

It's no surprise, really. I worked in KL for so many years. So as i went for a test run this morning, it was more of a walk down memory lane instead, starting at the former Federal Court, going pass the places i normally go to. Yeah, i was a KL boy back then. We'd hang out in town after Court and after work. Even when we moved office to PJ, KL wasn't that far away to pop by after work. It was pretty convenient. In any event, most of our cases were at the KL Courts.

So as i ran by the familiar places, wonderful memories came back - places i used to hang out wif me colleagues and mates, places me parents would take me when i was young, places i used to hang outalone... i really enjoyed the run this morning.

After that, i decided to pop by Chinatown for breakfast - and i noticed this open air market behind it. I decided to go look-see. It was so interesting - i thought i was back at the Brick Lane Market in London!!!! Altho this paled in comparison with size and things sold. But it had so much character!!!! So many things on sale from rusted tools, to stolen footware, bootleg CDs, porn, old clothes, mobile phones, watches (i overheard a vendor saying one watch cost RM1,800 - more than £300), bags, old bank notes, sculptures, etc, etc. I even saw this stall selling viagra!!!!!

Check out the last 2 pics in the collage below for some scenes in this market!

Ah.... KL!

Now i'm just a humble Subang guy. Living and working here in Subang, i only travel down to PJ for church. KL? Forget it!!!!

Here are pics i took wif me mobile:-

Dawn breaking in KL

*I love this song. Such a haunting tune!!! It was the theme song for the movie A League of Their Own.

Friday, 21 March 2008

It's your love* - She Moves

Was it the nails, o Saviour
That bound thee to the tree?
Nay, t'was thine everlasting love,
Thy love for me, for me
Katherine A M Kelly

*This was the original version which did not really made it big. It was the remake by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill which was a hit. But i still like the original version better.

Ironic* - Alanis Morrisette

I never fail to find new ways to illustrate the meaning of 'irony'...

At least i can laugh about it! :-)

*One of the main contenders if i have to choose a theme song for me life! ;-) Brilliant song!

Thursday, 20 March 2008

All by myself* - Eric Carmen

The public holiday couldn't have arrived at another better time. I really needed it! And it was indeed good.

Wif me sis away on holiday and me mom at a seminar, I took the opportunity to do something that i haven't had the chance to do - just be alone!

Yeah, having time to be wif meself is something that is really important to me. Dun get me wrong - i love being wif people. That is why i have chosen to be a lawyer in the past and now, to be wat i am. But i still need some time once in a while just to be wif meself, away from it all and from everyone. The events leading up to today made me just wanna turn into a hermit - even if it was only for a day.

So what did i do? Well, i slept! :-) I watched footie - a 4-4 thriller between Spurs and Chelsea. I cooked lunch for meself. I watched a movie on me laptop - Thank you for smoking. Not too bad. Best line of the movie -

'So when do you sleep?'

LOL! I can relate to that!

And i baked! Baking is good therapy - and i missed the chance to do so b4 CNY last month.

Here's the result:-

Not as good as those made by Carina, tho. She used Nutella while i used some cheap choc-hazelnut spread. Nutella too expensive la...

*The original version (Celine Dion remade it in the 90s) which borrowed heavily from Sergei Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor.

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Surrender (Reprise)* - Michael Bauer

I'm tired, emotionally drained, stressed, sleepy, frustrated, and kicking meself...

I wanna go home...

This song - from the musical, Sunset Boulevard was performed by actor playing the character of Cecil B DeMille.

Deep down* - Debbie Gibson

I see them everyday. I walk pass them and they smile at me. Sometimes, we'd talk and laugh. We would joke, tease - even flirt a little sometimes, all in good fun.

Yet, deep down inside, so many of them are hurting. Their smiles are just a facade. A mask they put on - like we are all in some elaborate masquerade somewhere in Venice.

Most of them go back and cry. Some cry on the inside. Others - there are no more tears left to cry and they are just going thru the motions.

At times i wonder how they find the strength to face another day, being so young. I wish i could just reach out and put an end to their hurt, their pain, their confusion, their frustration...

Ducks gliding over the surface of the water -
they are actually kicking frantically under water just to keep afloat and keep moving

But then again, aren't i one of them too? Someone said that i smiled a lot yesterday. if only they could see what was going on deep down inside.

At least i have this blog. At least i have my faith and my God to pull me thru. For that, i am eternally grateful. And as long as He gives me strength, i will try to do wat i can for the others... altho i must say that it sometimes overwhelms me...

*Taken from her fav album of mine, Anything is Possible, this song features quite a cool slap bass line.

Monday, 17 March 2008

Bad* - Michael Jackson

Let me say from the outset that i like cheesiness. I like corny stuffs. I'm the master of lame-ness - hey, i'm the founding member and life-time member of the Hall of Lame!

But even i have my limits - there is a line where cheesiness becomes plain bad.

I'm referring to Fergie's latest song which is playing over Mix FM these days - Big Girls Don't Cry. I just couldn't believe my ears when she goes:-

"And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"!!!!

Now first - yes, i'm gonna be anal - it's grammatically wrong!!! "A child... misses their blanket"???? Children miss their blankets. A child misses his/her blanket. *Sigh*

But on top of that - come on???!!!! I miss you like a child misses his/her blanket??? Surely you can do better than that? As someone commented on the Rolling Stone website, she "...should be jailed for writing such crap"! Wait, does she write her own stuffs? Doesn't matter. If she doesn't she should be jailed for singing such drivel...

Anyways, i just can't help thinking of this as i listened to the song:-

Me fav Peanuts character! :-)

*His second no. 1 hit from the album of the same title, it was originally planned for him to sing it as a duet with Prince!

Every little thing she does is magic* - The Police

D**n - i just can't wipe this silly grin off me face! And over such a small trivial thing?


*Apparently, Sting wrote this song as early as 1976 but it was only released in 1981. Also featured in the soundtrack of The Wedding Singer.

Sunday, 16 March 2008

Too much in love to care* - Kevin Anderson & Meredith Braun

Have been listening to Sunset Boulevard a lot lately. Rekindling my love for it. Was planning to blog about it but the weekend is over and it's back to work again. Here's one of me favourite songs from it:-

When I was a kid, I played on this street
I always loved illusion
I thought make-believe was truer than life
But now it's all confusion
Please, can you tell me what's happening?
I just don't know anymore
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?

I can't control all the things I'm feeling
I haven't got a prayer
If I'm a fool, well
I'm too much in love to care

I knew where I was, I'd given up hope
Made friends with disillusion
No one in my life, but I look at you
And now it's all confusion

Please, can you tell me what's happening?
I just don't know anymore
If this is real, how should I feel?
What should I look for?

I thought I had everything I needed
My life was set, my dreams were in place
My heart could see way into the future
All of that goes when I see your face

I can't control all the things I'm feeling
I'm floating in mid-air
I know it's wrong, but,
I'm too much in love to care
Don Black & Christopher Hampton

I love this scene - and the part just before it, as they walked along the corridor to the water fountain. When they reached the end, the props flip and they spin around and continue walking. Cool! :-)

*This is taken from the World Premier Recording.

Saturday, 15 March 2008

Black or white* - Michael Jackson

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Article 1
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.

Article 2
Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race...

Article 7
All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law.

Make no mistake about it - the New Economic Policy in Malaysia (NEP) is in blatant violation of basic human rights of all Malaysians. It singles out a group of people based on their race and gives them benefits not available to others. This has been happening for more than 50 years.

Repetition of something does not make it right. Just because it has been enforced in this country for more than half a centiry does not make it any right than when it first started.

So when the new Chief Minister of Penang announced that "...he would run the state administration free of the New Economic Policy...", one would expect any reasonable person to stand up and applaud him.

Instead, he is accused of the very thing that he has set out to put away. The Prime Minister insinuated that he is going to marginalise the Malays. How does running the state free from the NEP marginalise the Malays?

Another lawyer
lodged a police report against the CM accusing him of being racist.

It would take a whole lot of mental gymnastics for these people to justify their complaints.

Is it any surprise that those who are complaining are the beneficiaries of the NEP? Obviously there is a lot of self-interest in it. It is bad enough to be those who benefit from violations of human rights, but to actually lodge complaints when these benefits are taken away? Do these people have no shame?

If it is wrong, it is wrong. Let us right these wrongs and support those who are willing to do the same. Let us not be afraid of stepping on people's toes if we seek to respect the basic human rights of everyone. Let us not threaten those who seek to do what is right.

*His first single from his album, Dangerous. We will never forget it as the law school performed a dance to it and we won the best performance way back in the early 90s.

Too much* - Spice Girls


I wonder why some people have the idea that i dun like to admit my age. I think i've made it so clear so many times how advanced in the years i am!!!

But it's VERY hard not to, anyways. i am really getting old. Can't seem to do the things that i used to do.

Like now!!! I was supposed to get like 10 hours of sleep to make up for the debt i've accumulated in the past weeks and months. I failed. I was awake just after a couple of hours. kept on waking up and hovering between the land of slumber and real life.

Sleep usually comes effortlessly to me. Wait, it sounds kinda 'duh' - but it was, especially for me. People used to say that i have a love affair wif me bed. The record so far was going home after church and crashing at 2 pm... only to wake up at 6 am the next day ready for work, feeling really refreshed - and super hungry!!!

How i long for those days - when i can sleep for that long - and actually have the luxury of time to do so! ;-)

Another thing - eating! No more bottomless pit stomachs. What's happening???

2 Saturdays ago, i was starving. I spent the past 2 days at an Islamic University wif sub-standard food and super stress. As we say in Cantonese, i was ready to 'take revenge' - on food! I managed to get 3 other super eater mates of mine who were equally hungry and off we went. Being the indecisive pathetic joes, we spent like an hour or so, walking long distances before deciding to go to meaty house for pork knuckle!!!! yeah, i needed my 'pork fix' and wat else can fill yer up better than one huge chunk of meat?


Carnivore's delight - wif loads of fattening gravy!!!

Huge chunk of meat. See the bits of 'vege'? It's actually mango. Nice!

But wat was really sad was that (except for the still young Joseph and Su who seemed to drew the short end of the stick and got a small knuckle) we were literally struggling to finish the stupid knuckle!!!! It took great efforts to do so.

Clean sweep. WS trying act like it was nothing (trust me, he was suffering) while Jo is still going strong!

Hey, you are talking about people who camped out at buffets for hours, eats sushi and stacks up the plates like twin towers next to the conveyor belt, have 3 suppers in one night - and used to eat pork knuckles for fun!

Not anymore. I'm getting old... As it is, i find it hard to sit thru one whole movie these days. yes, from someone who watched LOTR back to back - and attempted to do a Episode 1-6 Star Wars marathon during Easter break in 2006!!!!!

Better start booking a place in the retirement home soon...

*The 2nd single from their from their 2nd album, Spiceworld. It was also the original song for the movie, Spiceworld!

I miss you* - Blink 182

I turned on me PC and was greeted with this offline msg:-

Disappeared? Yeah, i think i have. Can't blame me can you? Hey, i can hardly find time to sleep - or watch a movie!!!! Yes, i am enjoying meself... but i wish i could have more time. Time to at least keep in touch wif me mates. As it is, i'm online most of the time but my status is always "appear offline". People just dun seem to respect the "busy" status anymore. So while i do see me mates online, i dun chat wif them as i just can't afford the time!!! :-( Sad-eh?

So they dun see me anymore and wonders where in world have i disappeared to.

But in truth, i miss them so so much. We had so much fun together - but it was more than that. We literally shared our lives with each other. Having them around really made going thru those exceptionally difficult times much easier.

These past few weeks have not been easy for me - and many a times, i just wish they were around... around to put a smile back on me face, to laugh together, to tell me in my face how stupid i am, or to emphatise with me.

Miss y'all so much...

*Some realy trivial trivia - the song makes several references to The Nightmare before Christmas and Travis plays using one brush and one stick. Can you hear it?

Friday, 14 March 2008

Eight days a week* - The Beatles

It has been crazy - the past week. I thought things would slow down a lil after the crazy month of Feb. But it din. No letting up. Even if i have 8 days a week, i still won't find time to cram everything in. In fact, i believe i have lived and worked 8 days in the past week!!! Yet by God's grace, another week has gone by. And i think i earned the right for this kinda posts once in a while - the really boring narration of the events that went by in the past 8 days.

Can't seem to find a word to describe it. It's prolly not possible. Extremes - from tears of joy to cries of hurt, the happiness of walking down memory lane and the uncertainty of looking to the future, drawing so close to God and flirting wif sin, catching up wif old frens and establishing new ones, daring to dream again and feeling utterly hopeless...

It all started exactly 1 week ago when i woke up and dragged meself for a mamak session wif me old Uni mates. After all, it was polling day eve and Chris was back in town - a good excuse to meet up once again... and talk politics! What a wonderful reunion - altho the subject matter was rather sad, looking at the pathetic condition our country is in. It only made us all the more resolute to wake up early next day and lodge our protest!

The next day was Yu Jin's wedding - a time to catch up wif old mates again! Another reunion of sorts as people from S'pore and Jakarta came back. The evening however was spent waiting on the text messages informing us of the results of the elections. As the night went on, hopes begin to soar. Are we witnessing a dawn of a new age?

Reunion of sorts - from M'sia, Indonesia and S'pore.
(pic stolen from Jes Min's FB)

What a wonderful feeling to wake up living in an opposition state - and witnessing something i never thought i would - democracy emerging in our land! After more than 50 years of existence, have we finally come of age? We live in most exciting times!

Sunday was the start of another new change for me too - i've been switched to become a tenor!!! No more singing bass parts. The choir mistress decided to take a chance and thought my baritone voice would be better suited singing the tenor part. It was challenging - and so much fun! (And for the record, it did not rain on Sunday nite).

The week at school promised to be interesting - and it lived up to it. First thing Monday morning, we just hung out along the corridor of our staff room and chatted about the unbelievable and wonderful events of the last weekend, everyone being supporters of the opposition.

The Head of School from Reading came over. Had the opportunity to sit in and listened to some presentation for Consti and we had this forum on Parliamentary Reform in Malaysia. The forum was loads of fun - a little on the light side, tho. But perhaps the panelists were catering to the great number of students in the audience.

Last nite, i went out wif me old office mates to celebrate the retirement of one of me colleagues - it was fun, a mixture of oldies and those who have left together with those who are still faithfully there and the ones who have takn over from us since we left. Good food, good fun, good memories. Each of us had given such a huge part of our lives (and some still are giving) to that little law firm.

The veterans seated while the newbies stand behind

Work did not let up and sleep was sacrificed - the scary thing is that i'm getting used to the catnaps here and there, working on the laptop while the world is spinning around you!

Let's not forget another wonderful nite in Europe for the mighty Reds! Woohoo!

Pic taken from BBC News Online

Things slowed down to a nice halt this afternoon when i finished the last class of the week and just hung out wif me students. Came home and decided to watch a movie. Sleep beckons - is hollering, in fact, but lemme finish this first.

What a week! Next promises more excitement - holy week, debates, peer observation (now tt's gonna be really interesting if i get me way...), dress rehearsal for KL International Marathon, Good Friday and Easter.

Never a dull moment! And enjoying it.

* According to Paul, the title of this song was inspired by a chauffeur who told Paul (while driving him to John's place) that he had been working hard - eight days a week.

Thursday, 13 March 2008

Say it again* - Marié Digby

"Just do your best, and leave the rest... to God."

A few weeks ago, i said those words to me students - and i was greeted with rolls of the eyes and accusations that went "You are saying that we won't win????"!

When a renowned law professor said that a couple of days ago, me students all broke into spontaneous applause.

What the...?

*Her first official single released early this year. her album will be out next month.

Try* - Debbie Gibson

2 am.

I can hear the rain falling outside...

The body begs for sleep, the bed beckons...

I sit here surrounded by Family Law books, yet my mind is somewhere else...

Letting go is hard. But then again, did i expect it to be easy?

I recall what a wise green puppet once said (before it was taken over by a computer image), 'Do or do not. There is no try'. The logic of that statement at this point of time is as bad as the sentence construction of the same.

I am trying...

*Taken from her Anything is Possible album

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Close to you* - chie

Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I’m your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
‘Cause nothing else could take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to you

You’re all I want
You’re all I’ve ever needed
You’re all I want
Help me know you are near
Kelly Carpenter

There is nowhere better than resting in the warmth of yr embrace, no cure for the aching heart than the peace and joy you bring, Lord.

*This is her brilliant remake of the Carpenters' classic. It just blew me away when i first heard. Still does.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

I need you* - LeAnn Rimes

Outline of this week's BSF's lecture:-
  1. God chooses unlikely people for his purposes
  2. God often uses difficult circumstances to accomplish his will
  3. Jesus is all you need
It seems like the lecture was prepared just for me... no, i'm not being perasan! :-P

It was a wonderful reminder that God is with us, and that he is all that i'll ever need - esp in the situation i'm in. When i was driving to the Bible Study, i was crying out to the Lord to fill the void in me heart - a feeling which i've not experienced for so long. So familiar and strange at the same time.

Only He satisfies.

*A single from the album of the same title, i just found out that is also the lead track on the CD titled "Jesus: Music From & Inspired by the Epic Mini Series" that aired on television in 1999.

I'll never fall in love again* - Mary Chapin Carpenter

I'm letting go. It's the right thing to do... i think...

*The version which appeared on the soundtrack of My Best Friend's Wedding - love the way it was remade.

Sunday, 9 March 2008

Wind of change* - Scorpions

"So you must be happy? Liverpool won. The opposition won. What a night it must have been for you!"

Yeah, it was. Altho, techinically, the opposition din win, it was a great victory, no less. And yes, they won in my state, Selangor!!!!

Woohoo! I was so happy, i literally cried.

And i must admit for some fleeting moments, i felt sorry for the faithful hardworking pass MPs who's only mistake was to stay on with the race-based National Front.

Take for example, Lee Hwa Beng who lost to that joker who's only claim to fame was that he accidentally started the recording video function on his mobile out of boredom.

But these people live and die (politically) by their choices. If they want to be counted together with the party that emphasises race, show disrespect and arrogance and think that after 50 years in power, it is their God-given right to rule, then they will have to pay the price when the people exercise their democratic right to reject such leaders.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!
Herbert Kretzmer

*One of the classic from this German rock group which topped the charts all over Europe in the early 90s.

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Sweet dreams* - Eurythmics


*Arguably their signature song.

Around the world* - East 17

I made a comment in class about a student's Gucci bag - which wasn't too flattering - and he (yes, he, not she) retorted:-

"It's nicer than your green messenger bag!"

The class went *gasp*. i smiled and dropped the matter. Well, i started it - if we can dish it out, we shud be able to take it too.

Altho i did want to say that me miserable green messenger bag has been to places that some people can only dream of going to!!! So i shall say it now! It has! :-)

Pics taken at London, Paris, Colchester, Pembrokeshire National Park, Cardiff, Amsterdam, Romania, Stonehenge, Ipoh, KL, Subang, Scotland

OK - so it's not really been around the world - more like around M'sia, UK and Europe!!! :-P

However me poor bag is now feeling the strain, and is breaking apart slowly. :-( But until it gives up, i'll still be carrying it. As a mate said after making the observation that i carry it everywhere i go, it is
part of me!!!

*The song that we were singing in London just before we left. The memories...

Why, oh why?* - Juwita Suwito

So this guy was sharing during our Bible Study how God worked so that he could have enuf money to ease his financial strain.

I then remembered the sermon i heard when i was in S'pore not too long ago. The speaker was saying that sometimes, we put too much importance of this kind of sharings - and sets up the unspoken standard. No one shares about unanswered prayers. No one tells about how things did not work out for them - unless there is a twist to the tale where things turned out better. Instead, we paint the picture that if we believe and trust in God, it'd be smooth sailing all the way. This in turn implies that if things are rocky, if prayers are not answered, then it is cuz we are not having faith, we are doing something wrong, we are praying the wrong prayers.

What about the woman in Sri Lanka with a 2 year old child who's husband was murdered because he is the pastor of a church? Or those church leaders in China who were rounded up and taken to the labour camps. How about the girl crying herself to sleep every nite wondering why is it that despite her faithful service to God, she is still single. Or the boy who despite his best efforts and prayers, still continue to fail in his studies?

Unfortunately, some churches today are guilty of preaching a new type of prosperity gospel - the kind that says that everything will be brilliant in yr life, all prayers answered, no disappointments.

But is that really what the Bible teaches? When we weep in the privacy of our rooms in tears during the wee hours of the morning and cry out "Why, God? Why?", is there something wrong with our Christian walk?

I dun think so. I submit that we are in fact in good company of many great men and women in the Lord who felt disappointed with the almighty at one point of time in their lives.

The important thing is how we respond to such disappointments. Do we get bitter? Do we forsake the Lord? Do we give up our faith?

Or do we cling on to the promise that God works for the good of those who love him? That he will give us only good gifts? That if he gave us himself on the cross, will he not give us anything else?

For most of us, we will obtain an answer in our life time. For others, it will be revealed in the future - Abraham never got to see the promised land and Joseph never got to see that by God using him to save his family, it was to preserve the line where Jesus was eventually born of Mary.

So in the meantime, we try to cope and make sense of the things that seem to spiral out of control on a daily basis. But like the random movements of individuals on a ship, we know that there is a captain who is making sure that all will reach their destination in due course.

It is hard - but we persevere. I try to, anyway...

*First heard this song only recently on a student's blog.

Friday, 7 March 2008

I'll be okay* - Amanda Marshall

Have i been reckless? I was aware of the risk and yet i went on. Was i being unreasonable in taking the risk? If i was, then it means i was reckless also...

Despite being aware of it, i wasn't prepared for this.

But i'll be alrite...

Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
~Joss Whedon~

*Taken from the soundtrack of My Best Friend's Wedding, i love this song!!!

Thursday, 6 March 2008

Girls just want to have fun* - Cyndi Lauper

...and so do guys too!!!

Me church mates stared incredulously at me as i explained the strange pictionary rules they had. TK and i returned to our holding room after another stressful session at the scoring room to find them playing it - they decided to do that instead of watching Friends on me laptop. And somehow, playing chor tai ti at an Islamic University seemed a little disrespectful! Lol!

The rules were simple - you had to draw for the opposing team. So you had to make it as hard as possible so that they find difficulty in guessing the answer but yet at the same time, not impossible that they would complain that they wouldn't be able to guess!!!!!!

It doesn't make sense.

But we joined in anyways.

On top of that, the draw-er get to explain her drawing and use hand gestures and actions to aid the guessing team!!!!!

Here are some of the classics (the theme was movie titles):-

This was supposed to be "The Green Mile" - go figure!!!!

And this is the "Baby" as part of "The Million Dollar Baby"

Special mention must be made to TK's drawing of Breakfast At Tiffany's where she drew a diamond and a plate of bacon and eggs. My best had to be a drawing of a person doing pottery - and he had long hair, unshaven and very hairy hands - Harry (Hairy) Potter, of course! ;-)

Man, we had so much fun! the others were prolly in their holding room thinking and plotting about who next should they lodge a complaint against and discussing conspiracy theories at how they are being denied a fair competition.

Sure, we were sore at the seemingly unfair tactics and the apparently incompetence of certain people, coupled with the pettiness and hypocrisy displayed daily. But that wasn't going to stop us from having fun!

It appeared that nothing would break our spirit - altho they came close. But i was glad we raised ourselves over it - and even a sprained ankle became a source of levity.

It's not that they were not serious about the competition - they worked their socks off. Hardly slept not ate. They gave their all - and then, more!!!! how can i not be proud of them?

But before each session, we'd be laughing and joking away, breaking out into song in the moot courts itself. I think it really got under the skins of our opponents - no wonder they raised so many frivolous complaints against us. But hey, can't we have some fun? Can't we enjoy ourselves?

And i am proud (i get proud easily, dun i?) to start off the practice of punching another on the shoulder in a frenly manner before each moot. Well, it started at the very first moot - a hug din seem so appropriate in an Islamic Uni. A handshake seemed too formal. So i jus resorted to the punch. At the end of the competition, we were doing it to each other! :-D

It was a wonderful learning experience for all of us - moi included. It was nice to not only learn from our mistakes - but to have a good laugh over it too.

Having a good time (the blur pics were stolen from RT's Facebook page)

*This was her first major single - what a hit it turned out to be. What a hit she turned out to be. Love her or hate her, she knew how to stand out!

Dreaming of you* - Selena

Dun you just hate it when you are afraid that the moment is just too good to be true - and you are actually right?

Dun you just wish sometimes that you could be suspended in time and the moment lasts forever?

And then you wake up discovering it was all just a dream...


*Her popular hit single which was released posthumously.

Dream a little dream of me* - The Beautiful South

Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Asmin Mudin

*A remake of this classic which was featured in the movies French Kiss and The Devil Wears Prada

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Stay (I missed you)* - Lisa Loeb and the Nine Stories

5 am, 4th March.

So normal service resumes after the madness of last weekend. Life which was put on hold starts again.

While there are no regrets being free from all the snobbishness, pettiness, hypocrisy, politicking and apparently underhand tactics of certain Unis, i must say that i miss hanging out wif me team. After seeing them everyday for hours and spending most of the weekend wif them, there seem to be a void. Every now and then, i'd break out into a silly smile as i recall some funny incident that took place during the weekend or in the past week or so-

...when i recall senior agent for the applicant's Freudian Slip and referring to her classmate as a placemat...

...and the dreamy look on junior agent for the applicant when she talked about her charming judge from Oxford...

...when i picture how senior agent for the respondent must have been doing a Maria and
The hills are alive with the sound of... *plishk* a sprained ankle.

...or how junior agent for the respondent was put in a spot and had to inform the court that he was quoting from none other than George Bush...

It was most stressful, and at times, simply unpleasant. There was a serious deprivation of sleep and lack of food - yup, it prolly amounted to inhuman and degrading treatment (i hear the screams of me team members who are reading this now).

But it was also so so fun.

Yes, i miss me chumps and chumpettes! *Punches you guys on the shoulders*


8 am, 4th March

It was a family gathering. He was talking and joking, laughing away. It struck me that it has been so long since i saw him like this, so happy. I was happy...

Then i woke up. And i remembered why it has been so long. He's gone for almost a year now...


All the time...

I miss your smile... and the sound of your laughter. Wish you could stay longer...

*One of the most brilliant-est song i've heard. Absolutely love it!!! Brings back memories of London '94, when the song was released in conjunction with the movie, Reality Bites.