I wish it would rain down* - Phil Collins

Nah, i'm not gonna blog about the Oscars. The usual suspects won it. Can't say i'm not happy with the results. Definitely better than last year!

No, i'm gonna blog about another result - the one was was not really expected. The League Cup finals yesterday.

It was between Birmingham City and Arsenal where the latter were outright favourites! It reminded me of my recent trip to the UK - i was in Coventry for a couple of days and it was just after Birmingham had made it into the finals so everyone was talking about it. Coventry was near Birmingham so they 'tumpang glamour' la!

When i was in London staying with some of my former students, we talked about it too cuz one of them was an Arsenal fan while another, a fan of Birmingham.

It was an important match for both teams who were desperate to end a trophy drought - so desperate that even the League Cup would do!!!!

Birmingham had gone 48 years without any trophies!!!! Arsenal for all their wonderful football and talented young players have gone 6 years without winning anything altho they came close so many times. And this finals proves to be another one of those so close but yet so far episodes.

I have a lot of mates who are Arsenal fans and i really feel for them. But i have to be honest and say that i was backing Birmingham City. Yes, while the 6 years wait for Arsenal is long, surely the 48 years is even much longer!

And i usually support the underdog - so i was pleasantly surprised to read this morning that Birmingham won! The wait is over for them!

Pic taken from skypsorts.com

As for Arsenal, they are still waiting for the rain to fall on their drought. I hope they win the EPL tho! After all, they do play some really attractive football which is very pleasant to the eye.

*One of my fav song of his, with Eric Clapton on the guitars! Brilliant.

All the small things* Blink 182

It was supposed to be an eating trip at Penang. But when we woke up on Saturday morning, we weren't feeling too good - our throats were not well and we both were feeling physically not up to driving another 2 hours up north. The thought of having to drive back all the way back to PJ the next day sounded very tiring.

So we decided to stay in Ipoh. After all, there was good food in Ipoh too, isn't there?

And it turned out to be a pretty good decision! We were glad we made it. It was an awesome weekend! Praise God! =)

So what happened at Ipoh?

Nothing!

Really!!!

So what made it special then?

Well, many things! You see, it doesn't only take something great to make it wonderful. Sometimes, a lot of small little things put together can make something even more wonderful than one big thing.

So thruout the weekend, there were plenty of these small little things - some were nice little surprises - and it all added up to make it one great weekend! Check out my other blog (click here) to find out what were some of the little things that happened - be warned, tho. You might find some if not all to be pretty mundane or even boring.

But for us, these small things really made the difference!

*Written by their vocalist/guitarist for his girlfriend, this is considered as one of their signature songs.

Amazed* - Philips, Craig & Dean

Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
Lord I'm amazed by you
How you love me.
How wide, how deep, how great, is your love for me.
How wide, how deep, how great, is your love for me.

*Sang this song during CF this week.

Time to go* - Keane

So the time has come. I always knew it would - just din think it would be so soon. Thought i'd be there for some time. After all, i have been working hard to stay there - extra harder this year! It wasn't like i was slacking.

Maybe tt's wat that is making it harder to swallow... If i was on the slide, then it is understandable - even expected - that someone else will take my place. But i thought i was at the top of my game.

Anyways, the time has come for me to go. And i do so willingly, vacating my position gladly for i know someone else deserving is taking that place. No issues there.

It's just that i'm surprised at how badly i am taking it. So i am human after alll... =P

Thank God for tGiF for making all this easier to bear.

*The bonus track in their 3rd studio album.

After all these years* - Jim Brickman with Anne Cochran

One of the highlights of my recent was to meet up with Michael again.

I had wondered how it would be. The last we met was in a country where both of us were visiting. We were both single. This time round, we would be both engaged to be married to our respective partners later this year. Would things still be the same? We weren't the young carefree students we were back then.

But there was nothing to worry about. Our reunion was exactly how it has always been! Things were still the same. Although we both weren't the same anymore (especially our waistlines!!!!), the frenship was still the same. Perhaps, stronger after all these years.

As we reflected on how we first met - telling his fiancee about it - i realised it has been more than 5 years since that fateful nite when we introduced ourselves in the kitchen of flat 11 at the Rayleigh Tower.

We were part of the 'midnight' group!!! You see, having 13 occupants in one flat with just a single kitchen meant that we all had naturally started having different meal times. So there we were, 2 guys studying different subjects from different parts of the world, shaking hands in the kitchen late at night. Did we know how things were gonna work out for us?

Michael can be considered to be my best fren during my post-grad studies. We started off eating together but we progressed on to watching movies and TV shows together and sharing our lives. I found that it was easy to open up to him and to share things which i would not have with my frens here in M'sia. We even stayed together in one room at point of time when i had finished and was looking for a job. He would have been my best man if it was practicably possible. But he's getting married just before i am.

Meeting up with him was good. We spent so much time just catching up - it was as if we were never apart all these years. We din need time to "warm up" - we hit the ground running, as if knowing that our time together was limited so we better not waste any.

It was good.

The next time we see each other, we would both be married then. But i'm confident that the change in our marital status will not make a change in our frenship. Cuz he is a true fren.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart
~Katherine Mansfield~

p/s - all these photos in this posts were taken by Michael's fiancee during my visit to UoE.

*This song went into the top 10 of the American Adult Contemporary chart in 1998

Still the one* - Shania Twain

I did say that i will blog about this (see here).

After watching so many musicals, i still think that the best is Phantom of the Opera!

I have always thought that Phantom was the best!!! It was wonderful in all aspects - the music, the story, the props. I tell people that if they could only watch 1 musical, let it be Phantom!

I had such a wonderful experience watching it. I had to queue up on 3 separate Saturdays in the winter before finally getting tickets to watch it. And even then, we were the last 2 who got the tickets before the show started. Mind you, it also happened to be the best seats in the theater!!!!

Front row, royal circle, smack in the middle - when the chandelier came falling down onto the stag, i believed that if i had reached out, i would have been able to touch it!

So maybe the fact that i got the tickets the hard way made me appreciate the musical more! But i doubt it.

So I have to admit that i was in such a dilemma after watching Wicked. It really blew me away!!! I was beginning to think that perhaps, it was better than Phantom. *gasp* Sacrilege!!!!!

A fren who was a fellow Phantom fan actually gave in and said that Wicked is better than Phantom!!!!

It took me a while - but after much deliberation, i came to the conclusion that Phantom is still the best!

Wicked may have been funnier in a lot of parts and was a visual spectacle and a feast for the eyes too - but Phantom was just as good, altho not as colourful. The storyline in Wicked was so clever and interesting - but i love the tragic account of the Phantom!

But what helped me in my decision were the songs in Phantom. These can be considered classic!!! The music and songs in Phantom was clearly superior. Most of the songs in Wicked were nice and enjoyable - but nothing really special, save for that one song which moved me to tears. But the songs from Phantom - those songs are classics!!!!

The pounding introduction of the "Phantom of the Opera" (the overture), the emotional love song of "All I ask of you", the touching simplicity "Think of me", the grand "Masquerade" and the moving "Wishing you were somehow here again", the exciting "Past the point of no return", and the hilarious "Notes".

The strength of a musical IMHO should be in its music - and altho Wicked was so brilliant in so many ways, it just wasn't as good as Phantom when it came to what mattered.

p/s - for a list of all the musicals i have watched, see here.

*One of my all time fav songs!

Not the same* - Ben Folds

I guess it was inevitable. Everything changes - the only constant in life is change!

You look the same as when i last saw you.

The lakeside area of UoE - where the library is too

Sure, there are of course some changes - a hair salon, a grocer selling Chinese food stuffs, flat screens outside PC labs to indicate when a class will be going on. But generally, you are still who i last saw u to be.

But the exterior is not a true reflection of what is going on inside - and altho the familiarity is obvious on the outside, it is not reflected inwardly.

South Courts and the Quays - home to frens

I don't deny that it was so good visiting you again, reacquainting myself - eating on campus, doing my laundry even! But things just are not the same anymore.

The University Squares - where i sat many times, alone or with mates

I guess this is inevitable - after all, i'm just one of the students. You get to know so many new people each year. So it is no surprise that in spite of the welcome and all, i felt a little of the distance between us - yes, even tho i am right there with you.

The North Towers - home for a year

Yet, i do not put the blame wholly on you. I too have changed. i too have many new people who are in my life now. And in some ways, i am glad that things are like this now.

I did go to those 'places' - where wonderful memories were made. And it did not stir up much emotions - not like those other times when i went back there. Yet, this i feel is good - for it is time i move on and leave you for good.

Main campus

As i left, i told me mate, Michael that this was prolly the last time i'll be visiting. After all, he too will be leaving soon. And the place would have lost all the reasons why it was once so special - the people.

But i'll hold on to the memories - and will always be glad of the time i had with you.

*Found on his album, Rockin' the Suburbs.

Baby it's cold outside* - Vanessa Williams & Bobby Caldwell

We were informed that the temperature outside in London is 0 degrees Celsius! I smiled to meself. I was looking forward to it! =)

Cold wintry morning at Colchester - yes, i still have not cleaned my lenses yet!!!

So on the first morning when i got back to Central London, i decided to sit outside on a bitterly cold wintry morning, enjoying my bacon roll and hot coffee! Other than the fact that i lost all feeling in my fingers, i absolutely loved it! =)

When i met frens, some were complaining how cold it was - after all, they hit double digits the week before and some even thought the worst has passed and spring decided to take a leaf from winter's page and come knocking (or springing in) early.

The inevitable question most people asked me was how was i handling the cold - and i wasn't completely honest with them. They'd prolly think i was crazy - or worse still, being sarcastic - if i say i was loving it.

But i was! Besides that outdoor breakfast on that first morning, i had coffee outdoors, ate kebab on a park bench and even had half a pint sitting outside a pub with me mates! I took many walks outdoor when it was cold - and just to illustrate how cold it was, parts of the lake at the Uni of Warwick was frozen over and i noticed that during one of my outdoor winter excursions.

At Reading, when the bus dropped us off at the wrong spot, my students asked if i wanted to take another bus or walk. Obviously i said we'll walk! After all, it was so nice and cold! =)

I even wanted to take a midnight walk to Tesco just to relive the old times - and me mate at Colchester was almost tempted to accompany me!!! But in the end, it was the bitter cold that (and common sense) and deterred him - and i was feeling too tired for that. Age! Sigh...

Yes, some say i'm crazy - but i love the cold!!!! Just last nite, i was sweating buckets while having dinner - and i was longing for it to be cold, just like how it is in London!

*Her jazzy remake of this popular X'mas song.

Just in time* - Tony Bennett & Michael Bublé

The weekend came just on time. Thank you, Lord.

(fb status updated earlier)

It came just when i needed it most. God knows our limits.

*Their remake of the song made famous by Tony Bennett himself as a solo piece.

Thank you for being a friend* - Cynthia Fee

"Ummm.... Sorry but I fail to see your concern? Are u afraid of crossing the teacher- student boundary? My policy is if they have graduated, they are no longer my students, they are my friends....;) does that answer the question?"

That was the reply i received from a fren - she was the one who gave me my job now, my new life as a lecturer. As a Christian older sister too, i valued her advice.

So let's play "Jeopardy" - what was my question?

Well, before i flew to London, i was making arrangements for a place to stay there. And one of the possible options was to stay with some of my former students. 4 of them, renting a flat in central London. I got along really well with them when they were my students. In a way, they come from a 'special' cohort - they were my very first students!!!

But i just wasn't sure if it was ok. I can't think why not - but to be on the safe side, i decided to ask someone much wiser and more experienced. Her reply confirmed my views and reassured me it should be alright.

And i was really glad i stayed with them guys! I really had a great time with them (and i hope the feeling is mutual). They made me feel at home. One of them had to give up his room and slept on the floor in the hall! It wasn't a huge house so they had to put up with another person hanging around in the living room, using the toilets and the kitchen.

They took me out for a really good dinner the first nite. They invited me to a steamboat dinner the next nite but i was going to watch Wicked! So they met me for tea at Borough Market - and had really good coffee there!

Me and the guys at Borough Market - together with some other former students

After the show, i got back quite late but we stayed up til 4 am just chatting away! It felt like i was back in Uni again! =)

I'm so glad that they were my students - but i'm happier now that they are my frens. I'm really thankful to have frens like that!

Thanks, guys!

*The theme song for the hit sitcom, The Golden Girls.

Let me blow your mind* - Eve feat. Gwen Stefani

So finally! I've watched "Wicked"!!! I've been wanting to watch it for a couple of years.

The last time i was in London in 2009, i did not have much time. There were a few musicals which i wanted to watch - Mamma Mia, Billy Elliot, Hairspray, Oliver (with Rowan Atkinson) and Wicked. I watched all of them - except Wicked.

I did not have the time to watch all i wanted to - so i picked Wicked as the one to be missed. Part of the reason was because everyone was talking and raving about it. As one of my students said, i did not want to have the herd mentality and followed the crowd. That's true. I did not want to be one of those who went to watch it because everyone else was!

I regretted a little when i got back - and the views of frens who have watched it finally convinced me that it was really good.

So it was on the top of my list when i was back in London recently. My schedule was so packed that in the end, i could only spend time to watch one musical - and so it was Wicked!

It really was that good!!!!!

It had almost everything!!! Visually, it was spectacular! The effects, costumes and the colours used were so vivid and brilliant.

The stage from where we sat

Close-up of the safety curtain which was a map!

The dragon - which really din do much!!!!

The first half of the show was hilarious! We were laughing away - at times, only us in the theater!!! It was totally enjoyable. But at the end of the day, it was the story totally blew me away!

I was glad i resisted reading anything about the story. So the twist to the tale was not expected. I will not spoil it for those of you who have not watched it yet. Just make sure you know the story of the Wizard of Oz well before watching this - and Wicked will give you a whole new fresh perspective of what happened to Dorothy.

More than that, i loved the story because it was one about frenship - not the typical usual love story - this one was about frens and sacrifices that frens make for each other, no matter what. I am not ashamed to say that i cried a lot during the second half of the musical - especially during the song "For Good".

The circle where we sat

I have always told everyone that the best musical ever is The Phantom of the Opera. If they could only watch one musical, it has to be Phantom! But at the end of this musical, i was in a dilemma - was this even better than Phantom? I was starting to think that it was!!!! Yes, that itself should demonstrate how good Wicked is!

But i dared not make the conclusion then. As one of my former students said, i was still "in the zone" at that time. And after all, it was the first musical i've seen in 2 years.

A student who also like me previously thought that Phantom was the best was in the same dilemma! She finally concluded then that Wicked is better! It tipped Phantom cuz in addition to all the other stuffs, Wicked had the comedy element.

Me? After thinking much about it, i will have to say that both are just as brilliant!!!! If you can only watch one musical, watch both of it! =P

But if my life depended on it and i had to make a choice, i'd say Phantom still is the best.

Why?

I'll leave that to be answered in another post! =)

*Winner of a Grammy for Best rap/sung collaboration in 2002, it was one of my fav songs back in 2001.

Come together* - The Beatles

The wonderful thing about Chinese New Year is the opportunity to come together and reunite - sometimes, after a long time.

This year was not any different - in fact, this year was pretty special cuz i got to meet up with a lot of people, having many different reunion meals - ranging from the traditional yee sang to a western roast meal, and everything else in between. This included fish and chips, roast duck rice, japanese sashimi, pizza and good old English ale!

This is a collage of some of the gatherings i have had:-

The pic in the middle is the meal i had with my family before flying off to the UK. Going clockwise from the top left corner:-

1. English roast dinner with students;
2. Having a drink at an open air area with former students;
3. Chinese New Year eve dinner at the halls of residence of my students;
4. Meeting at Borough Market for brilliant coffee and other food stuffs;
5. My ex-Uni mates from UEL at Kelana Jaya;
6. Having a meal at London Chinatown;
7. Meeting up with my ex-Uni flatmates from UoE;
8. Having jap food with a former colleague at London.

I have not seen some of them for months - others for years, even! It was really really good to come together and catch up again. Dun know when i'll ever if see some of them again - that's wat makes these sessions all the more priceless.

*One of their classic songs which is also one of my favourites!

For good* - Idina Menzel & Kristin Chenoweth

Happy Valentine's Day!

I wanna take this opportunity to thank all those whom i have had the pleasure of knowing and being my frens - those i met in school, at college, in Uni, my work colleagues, my church-mates, my students. I know i am who i am today because of you, because of the role you played in my life.

Thank you. This song is dedicated to you.

ELPHABA:
I'm limited
just look at me i'm limited
and just look at you you can do all I couldn't do
glinda,
so now its up to you
for both of us
now it's up to you

GLINDA:
I've heard it said
that people come into our lives
for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
and we are lead to those
who help us most to grow
if we let them and we help them in return
Well i dont know if i believe that's true
But i know i'm who i am today
because i knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
halfway through the wood.
Who can say if i've been changed for the better
but, because i knew you
I have been changed for good.


ELPHABA:
It well may be
that we will never meet again in this lifetime
so let me say before we part
so much of me is made from what i learned from you
You'll be with me
like a hand print on my heart
Now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
by being my friend

Like a ship blown from it's mooring
by a wind off the sea
like a seed dropped by a sky bird
in a distant wood
Who can say if i've been changed for the better?
But because i knew you

GLINDA:
because i knew you

BOTH:
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA:
And just to clear the air i ask forgiveness
for the things i've done you blame me for

GLINDA:
But then i guess we know there's blame to share

BOTH:
And none of it seems to matter any more

GLINDA:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
(like a ship blown from its mooring)
As it passes a sun
(By a wind off the sea)
Like a stream that meets a boulder
(Like a seed dropped by a bird)
Halfway through the wood
(in a wood)

BOTH:
Who can say if i've been changed for the better?
I do believe i have been changed for the better

GLINDA:
And because i knew you

ELPHABA:
because i knew you

BOTH:
because i knew you,
I have been changed...
for... good

*My fav song from the musical Wicked.

As if we never said goodbye* - Patti Lupone

“Sir, excited much? :D”

A student left that message on my wall, not knowing that I had oredi arrived at the UK!

But if she had been on time, I would have to answer in the negative – although I feel the question was more rhetorical. After all, who loves London and the UK as much as I do? Who always talk about the good old days spend there, who always never fails to mention about what a brilliant place it is, and who always expresses his longing to be there? Yes, those too are just rhetorical questions!

Yet, there was no excitement at all. I even surprised meself!

I remember when I went back there again after I got home for good. The thrill was evident, I was like a kid on Christmas morning! If memory serves me right, there were tears in my eyes – and I felt like I was gonna explode with excitement! I must have had this silly grin on my travel-weary face.

But not this time.

So what happened?

No, dun get me wrong! I was glad to be back!!! Maybe it’s cuz I had been so so busy before flying over, I din have time to get excited!!! No time to think about it, to look forward to it as there were so many other things on me mind. And when there wasn’t, I was just too tired to think of anything else.

Perhaps another reason – maybe the more plausible one – is that I’m so familiar with the place. And the place hasn’t changed much – so the excitement and the anticipation of going to a new place is absent. It was like coming home. I really want to be home. I’m glad to be home. But surely u understand why I’m not excited anymore.

Familiarity breeds contempt, some say, but there is great comfort in familiar surroundings, isn’t there?

I walked out of the plane, greeted by the HSBC ads. Costa Coffee was the first outlet I saw.

It's a sign!!!! ;-)

It was the from the same tube station that I left the airport from, boarded a similar underground carriage and looking thru the same old names of the many stations along the Piccadilly Line until I reached the center of the city. I was using my old Oyster card.

Interesting ads in the tube

In the city center, things were still the same. I saw the same sights, admired the same paintings in the National Gallery and ate the wonderful roast duck in Chinatown, it tasting just like how it used to (the siew yoke skin was still deliciously crunchy!).

Same old Trafalgar Sq with Big Ben in the background

The National Gallery where my fav paintings of Claude and Vincent are still there

Siew yoke ngap farn at Wong Kei

Oxford Street was as busy as ever. I still cannot make out what in the world the train driver (engineer?) is saying over the PA system. The embankment is still a lovely place to walk along. The buskers were doing their thing at designated spots in the tube stations and all over the place.

Free performances at Covent Garden

Busy and colourful Chinatown

Sure, there were some differences – like this time round, I arrived at Terminal 4 Heathrow – no longer the usual and familiar Terminal 3 where the opening scene of Love, Actually was shot, and where I stayed for half a day while waiting to be picked up to go to Essex, and of course, the very first place in the entire UK that I set foot on way back in 1993!

Terminal 4 - from the outside

I was shocked to find out that Borders has closed down in the UK.

Leicester Square was closed as they were getting it ready for 2012! And the Swiss bells have been removed!!!!! =(

Used to be such an attraction, ppl standing below it waiting for the clock to strike the hour!

The hand prints are all covered up now

The 4th plinth on Trafalgar Square was occupied by a ship in a bottle!!!

Well, this is better than the naked pregnant lady that was there back then

But all these did not change the place much. It was pretty much the same London that I have always known – and learnt to love.

So yes, there was no buzzing excitement when I went there – but there was the same warmth in my heart and a feeling of happiness of being back there again. It was like returning home after a long holiday. And it was like as if we never said goodbye.

*Taken from the musical Sunset Boulevard.

Say my name* - Destiny's Child

They took me to a place called "The Fish Club" south of London.

The food was pretty good, i must say. The best fish and chips i've ever had!

A funny thing happened. You see, all of them used to be my students. And altho i have told them they could always refer to my by my first names, none of them ever did. It's the M'sian culture, i'm sure. so the simple way to call me has always been "sir". I do have students who call me by my first names - but people who have heard that expressed surprise - and i suspect, some disapproval.

Anyways, i have always treated this group as my frens. And now that they are no longer my students, they are "officially" my frens (sounds strange to put it that way, tho)!!!

So when Inez referred to me as "Sir...", i told her not to call me that anymore! Unless i get knighted by the Queen!!! She said she was so used to it - and Aizad agreed.

"What shall i call you?"

"Err... Mun Onn would be good! That is after all, my name!!!!", i replied!

It was funny cuz thruout the dinner, during our conversation, there were a few occasions when she called to me and struggled just to say my name!!!! And the look on her face when she called me by my name was priceless!!!! It's not that they find it difficult to pronounce it (like how the Brits and the Chinese do) - it's just that they weren't used it! Altho i'm sure they refer to me all the time by my name when they talk about me! They are just not used to talking to me by saying my name!

Even last week when another former student visited me, he kept on calling me "sir"!!!

Well, it does take some time, i'm sure. Some of their seniors oredi dun have any problems calling me by my name. In time, they will too! After all, when they all become big time lawyers or corporate figures, surely they can't be referring to me as "sir" when they see me again, can they? They will just have to get used to saying my name!

*Considered to be one of their signature songs, it was their biggest hit from their 1999 album.

Let me let go* - Faith Hill

I thought this was the last time. I was pretty sure it was. I have been holding on for long - if not for the fact i know the date when i first stepped foot there, i would prolly not remember how long this feeling has been going on.

I fell in love with London. I fell in love with England. Sure, i loved Scotland and Wales too - but i considered London and Colchester to be my home. ever since i got back here, my heart never seemed to settle. There is a longing always to return there - and this was obvious from the fact that i have indeed returned many times for a visit. Interestingly, in my whole life, i have only missed celebrating Chinese New Year on 4 occasions - and yes, on those 4 occasions, i was in London!!! Well, i was at Colchester on one of those 4 occasions - but let's not get too technical here! ;-)

I really cannot explain it - but perhaps that's how it is. Some things cannot be explained. It just is, period. Some people cannot stand London. But to me, i absolutely love it. Sure, it's not perfect - but then again, neither am i. Perhaps that helps me to fit in so well.

Some of me mates have expressed frustration with me always talking about England and London. They cannot understand - and they cannot stand me always talking about it.

i dun blame them - for i myself sometimes cannot stand meself talking about it. And i surely dun understand it anymore than they dun!!!!

i just got back from London recently, rekindling my old love. Lemme say first that i had an absolutely brilliant trip. Yet when i was leaving, it was not with the usual heavy heart. On my last nite, i did what i usually do - i walked alone along the embankment, enjoying the lovely mild wintry weather, listening to the busker belt out smooth jazz on his sax and gazing out on the Thames. It was sweet. Unlike the last time, it was not bittersweet.

No, i haven't fallen out of love with London - but we seemed to have come to an understanding. It is time for me to move on - and unfortunately (or fortunately?), our paths will not meet again. Not in the way it used to be.

It was like we agreed to break-up but to remain best frens!!!

Maybe tt's why i thought this would go down as my best trip ever. It is like finally being able to settle some unfinished business, to have a proper 'funeral', and to move on with life.

Yet, today, less than a week since i got back, me heart yearns for you again. why must you do this to me????? Why dun you let me let go???




No.... no, it is not your fault... . I can't blame you.

*one of my fav song of hers!