Wishing you were somehow here again* - Emmy Rossum

Today's would have been my father's 84th birthday. If he was still alive. It has been more than 8 years since he was taken away from this earth.

Flowers for papa

I can't say that i miss him a lot - not all the time. But sometimes, i do. Especially on days like today.

Sometimes, there will be small little things that remind me of him - like how each time i hear about the football team Bordeaux, i am reminded of the time when we were watching the sports news on TV when they announced that Bordeaux football team trashed another team and he commented "How can a team with the name 'Bodoh' (stupid in the Malay language) win like that?"

Quite lame-eh? No prizes for guessing where i got my "lame-ness" from!!!

As i grow older, i really can see that i am in fact my father's son. Looks wise no but our outlook, our attitude towards people and things are quite the same. What differs us is the fact that i became a Christian at a very young age and that changed a lot of how i see and deal with things.

As a father now, i understand him better - and have a new sense of appreciation of the struggles he had to go through - that only a father would know and understand.

I wish he was still around as there are so many things to chat about. I wish he was still around today as he would be so happy to have Shona as his granddaughter - and she would absolutely love him as her yeh yeh (paternal grandfather).

But he is not.

Yet, as i'm blogging this, i realise that he is!!! Just as i was mentioning above - he is "in me". I am who I am because of him - a big part anyway.

*This was the version from the movie adaptation of the musical, Phantom of the Opera.