Can't fight this feeling* - REO Speedwagon

Catch a falling star...
Grasp the wind in my hands...
Go to the end of the rainbow...
Store the sun's ray in a bottle...
Change the way i feel...

Some things are impossible to perform. Others - well, the question is not so much of whether i can do it but whether i want to. Still, there are some when the line between being able to do and wanting to do is blurred. Intentionally or otherwise, the end result is still the same.

*Their 2nd no. 1 hit, it was one of me fav songs back in the 80s. And i just found out that the band's name was taken from a vehicle!!!! Yes, there is such a vehicle called the REO Speed Wagon!!!!

Mood Swings* - Debbie Gibson

You find yourself falling down
Your hopes in the sky but your heart like grape gum on the ground
And you try to find yourself
In the abstractions of religion and the cruelty of everyone else
And you wake up to realise
Your standard of living somehow got stuck on survive

You realise your only friend
Has never been yourself or anyone who cared in the end
That's when everything fades or falls away
Cause the chains which once held us are only the chains which we've made

We sacrifice our pride, compromised our health
We must demand more, not of each other, but more from ourselves

(Deep Water; Jewel Kilcher)

Sun sets 'cross the ocean
I'm a thousand miles from anywhere
My pocketbook and my heart both just got stolen
And the sun act like she don't even care

I've been down so long
Ooh, it can't be longer still
I've been down for so long
That the end must be drawing near

(Down So Long; Jewel Kilcher)

*Track 12 from her third (and my fav) album, Anything is Possible.

One moment in time* - Whitney Houston

This is Musée Marmottan Monet in Paris. That's the only photo i have of that place. For some reason, they saw it fit not to allow visitors take any photos inside the place - but to get an idea of how it looks like on the inside, check out the site here.

It was one of the highlights of my trip to Paris 2 autumns ago. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit there. Yes, i'm a big fan of Monet. No, i'm no expert in art. If you ask me why i like Monet, i won't be able to articulate my thoughts well. It's really simple for me - when it comes to art, it's all about feelings. And when i see a Monet, it evokes a wonderful feeling inside me - it's just the way how the colours just come to live, how a seemingly blurry painting evokes clear emotions, how paint on a canvas can be so so brilliantly beautiful.

In short, i just feeeeel goooood! :-)

As i couldn't take any photos, i spent a long long time there. I made sure i got me ticket price worth (typical M'sian). I looked at each paintings from various angles and from differing distances. I stood afar and sat nearby. At one point of time, i was literally moved to tears... It's just that i was overwhelmed by the beauty i was beholding.

I have to say it was at times, a bittersweet experience - there was this realisation that i will have to leave it here - i can never have it. It's not mine, and it can never be mine. I'll have the memories, i can see reproductions of it but it'll never be the same, would it?

But for that short period, that one moment in time, there was just me and the beauty. And that was good enuf for me. I left the place, not sorry that my visit had to end, but happy that it actually took place.

Funny how life imitates art...

*Recorded for the Olympic Games in Korea in 1988! Man, was that so long ago???

How do I live* - LeAnn Rimes

...without internet connection????

What the ..... is going on? It has been like this the whole of yesterday. I was thinking maybe it's just congestion - with everyone in the Klang Valley having the day off, they decided to go online. But it's past midnite now and it's a working day!!! The connection is still bad. I can't get the news (took me a while to find out that Heath Ledger died and Spurs thrashed Arsenal 5-1), i can't get on MSN, and worse of all, i can't access LexisNexis!!!! How am i gonna get ready for class later???

Well, to me students who are reading this, let this be a lesson to you - do not procrastinate!!!! ;-P

UPDATE: It's back. business as usual.

p/s - here's me tribute to Heath ledger. Me not a big fan but i absolutely loved this scene:-



*One of my all time fav songs, it spent a record 69 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 chart!!!

Blessed* - Darlene Zschech & Reuben Morgan

Finally, my "New Year post"!

Well, there are many reasons why i only kept it til now. First, i din wanna be like every other blogger who blogged at the beginning of January about the year before and looks ahead to the new year. Secondly, i've been so, so busy!!!!!!!!

Thirdly, i was waiting for this day.

What is the significance of this day? Today marks my 1 year anniversary of being home! Yup, i touched down on me "Water-land" (tanah-air) this time last year. And a year has gone by...

I remember my final post for 2006 (see here) where i was filled wif great expectations after the wonderfully brilliant 2006. However, 2007 started off badly. I got home, din i? The fact that i returned only showed that things were not good.

And i have been goin round telling people how much i hate being home, how i wish i was back in the UK - or at least somewhere else. I remember chatting wif a fren in Beijing and telling her that things were not so good. I was telling her that it was like i had such a good time in 2006 that it's payback time in 2007.

But if i were to be honest and look back, it was only because of one event - one long-running series of events, actually, which made me really hate being back home. It was something i wished i din have to go thru. It is something i would not wish for anyone to go thru.

But go thru it i had to. And i know that it could have been worse. Much, much worse. God was indeed very gracious.

Anyways...

2007 really wasn't too bad, actually. But i'm really not expecting much in the year ahead. Just go on wif life and make the best in everything. Work hard, play hard, pray hard! No resolutions - gave that up eons ago!!!

And i really shouldn't seem ungrateful - ungrateful to God for blessing me tremendously in many ways, ungrateful to me family who has and is still loving me unconditionally, ungrateful to me mates who have been there for me, ungrateful to me students who have added so much colour in my life.

Yes, i have been blessed.

Here's a tribute to the year before (20/1/07 - 19/1/08) - these are some highlights and key moments:-

Left to right, top to bottom:- Got me foundation cert in TESOL - my passport out of this country in the future; traveled to Penang; walked in the rain at Fraser's; played wif me nephew and niece at our private pool in M'cca; got me DSLR; had a life-changing experience on a mission trip to Romania; managed to catch the sunset over Colchester again; fulfilled a long time wish by traveling to Mersea for seafood wif me mates; loitered in London; ate Krispy Kreme doughnuts (the earth stood still!!!!); ran the OA Youth Camp while still jet-lagged; started a new life at TUC and got to know some wonderful students; spoke at a youth camp; went caroling; had a brilliant time being in the choir, practising and fellowshipping; jogging around the Subang lake.

*The first song of the album of the same name, it was recorded live at Sydney Entertainment Centre in early 2002. I actually bought the album by mistake but i love it!

True Colours* - Cyndi Lauper

You can really see a person for who they are when they are under pressure. For some, they are like coal - under immense pressure, they become diamonds. For others, they just fall apart - or at the very least, their facade breaks - and you get to see them for who they really are.

It was no surprise to me that some people started to behave unbecomingly. They become rude, dismissive and boorish. You try to overlook it. They are after all, under pressure.

But after the event, when one hopes that they would have cooled down and become more sensible, an e-mail is sent out - it was sarcastic and it took cheap shots.

One can understand if someone, in the heat of the moment shoots off his mouth and say things which he might regret later. But if that person is sitting in his office, drafted out an e-mail and then clicked on the send button, surely it can only be interpreted as premeditated. The person had decided to and indeed did take a cheap shot at someone else - and sent the same e-mail to others to read.

Whatever respect i have had for that person is diminishing fast...

*The first single of her second album of the same name, it went on to become one of her big hits!

When I see you smile* - Bad English

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me
Diane Warren

*Their no. 1 song in 1989, this is one of me all time fav songs! Love the lyrics, love the guitars.

Losing myself* - Debbie Gibson

I've always been a fan of Andy Roddick - not so much for his skills (altho his serves are truly out of the world... but kinda kills the game if you dun have someone wif the skill of Federer to return them) but for his post-match behaviour. As far as i know, he never fails to take away any credit from his opponent and is very gracious when he loses. He also never shies from laughing at himself.

So it was a big surprise - or shock? - to see a different side of him this morning. He was shouting at the umpire, disputing hawk-eye calls and being in my opinion rather rude. dun you think so when he shouts to the umpire "You're an idiot." and then is quoted saying "Stay in school kids, or you'll end up being an umpire." He was close to losing it! His temper was lost early but he managed to keep his game going, tho.

Oh well... i guess he is only human. I remember even Federer was disputing the Hawk-eye call in Wimbledon last year - but that was in the finals and he really had a case. In this morning's match, it was clearly in!!!

To be fair to Roddick, in typical fashion, he gave full credit to his opponent later, saying "He was swinging from the first ball. I took his best stuff for five sets and I thought I was going to get him to break or to fold. I thought if I kept it on him long enough that that would happen. Tonight he played like a great, great player."

And it was a most thrilling game! 5 setter with the last 3 going into tie-breaks! I dun know how the players manage it as i'm all nerves when it comes to watching tie-breakers!!! In the end, Philipp Kohlschreiber (if you are going "who??", you are just like me!) emerged victor after 4 grueling hours on court!!! He was brilliant! He made some really wonderful shots which got me cheering for him early on.

But I doubt if he'll go further - who can recover from a 4 hour 5 setter like that???

The other game i caught was of how Mauresmo crashed out. Yes, i'm no big fan of her so no tears were shed. I still maintain that she is just not good enough to be a champion - and still wonder how was it she won the Wimbledon title the year i was there!!!!! It was more like the others self-destruct than she winning it.

Last nite was a typical Mauresmo game. When it mattered, she just whittled. Leading 40-0, she lost the nest 5 points in a row to concede the match. Those were poor points lost too - there was at least one double fault. Could have been more. I was bored.

But still, my interest in tennis has resurrected. Now if only i can find the time to play...

Tennis, anyone?

*Her first single from her 4th album, it was also her last single to be in the Billboard Hot 100.

Goodbye to you* - Michelle Branch

Over 4,000 kilometres separate us. A face in a city of over 15 million people. No telephone number. An address in a foreign language. A memory from another lifetime.

And now, the last manner of communication - MSN ID and e-mail address - is no longer available.



*First heard this song when she performed it live in an episode of Buffy. Fell in love with it immediately! Brilliant song.

Through the rain* - Mariah Carey

When it rains, it pours.

Well, it's been cats and dogs in me life - and i'm drowning in the flood. Half a month of the new year has flown by. This week has been madness - and it's only Tuesday!!!!

Work has increased by 50% this term. I'm still paying the price for brilliantly setting the datelines for 2 essays on the same day - in the same week when they sat for a mock test - which means that i have tonnes of work to mark!!! Me mom has not been too well and i have to send her to do physiotherapy and babysit me niece. Moots are just around the corner. This week, with visitors from overseas, there're meetings fixed almost daily.

I'm just rushing from one thing to another, and trying to slip in as much sleep as i can. There are times when i'm feeling physically exhausted, emotionally drained and intellectually dry. An old tune from the past could bring tears...

Thank God church meetings are still at a minimum - and tonite's meeting was canceled (which meant i could blog...).

I'm so waiting for next Wednesday when there's a public holiday and i get a small breather...

Yet, i dun hate it. In some ways, it is nice to be busy, to be swamped with work and activities, to feel productive... and not to be concerned of the fact that i'll be monitored by the Reading people during lectures tomorrow - it's the least of me worries, honestly!!!

And i do not deny many brilliant moments tucked in between which just makes it all worthwhile - or just gives me the little extra to plod on (Cheers, CG!).

Well, the rain is still falling, but i know i'll make it thru - and i won't be alone. God will be wif me every step of the way.

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

Note about the pic: Taken in Glasgow in winter of 2005.

*Released as the first single from her 8th album, it was hoped that it would success after the failure of the soundtrack to Glitter. It didn't. Still, i like the song!

I'll be there* - The Escape Club

Heard this song at the close of Episode 8 of the first season of The Bionic Woman. Liked it so much that i googled part of the lyrics and found it on YouTube. Enjoy. :-)



I am no Superman.
I have no answers for you.
I am no hero, aww that's for sure.
But I do know one thing:
Where you are is where I belong.
I do know, where you go, is where I wanna be

*Used to be really crazy about this song! Apparently, the group said that this song was heavily influenced by the movie, Ghost.

Suddenly* - Olivia Newton-John & Cliff Richard

不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。

*A song from the soundtrack of the movie, Xanadu starring Olivia Newton-John herself. Love that movie!

Hello* - Oasis

It was near perfect! The rain had just subsided - not completely, tho, so there was a very slight drizzle, kinda like the showers in London. Droplets of water were catching me as i huffed and puffed under the tree-line. Me Nikes were oredi soaked but it din bother me - there's something about the squishing of wet sneakers that brings back memories of childhood and playing in the mud. It was at dusk and i had the sunset to keep me company. I gave up early on trying to avoid the puddles so i splashed along and laughed out loud to meself. Being a public holiday, the roads were not jammed. The heavy downpour earlier cooled the air significantly. Me spirits were soaring at this opportunity to be out - a far cry from just an hour earlier where in rare moments i was unhappy with the rain which trapped me indoors.

And just when i thought that things couldn't get better, a perfect stranger i jogged past greeted me!!! That inspired me. I smiled at the next person i ran past and was duly rewarded with a reciprocated smile and a nod. :-)

Well, for the record, the two i encountered were actually private security guards on patrol in USJ 5 - and they were foreigners. So maybe they thot i was one of their rich employers (or son of one of their rich employers)...

One of the things which we miss about being in the UK is how people greet each other. When we walk down the streets, jog around the campus, stroll along the footpaths, wander in the parks, we acknowledge the people we pass by - a smile, a nod, a simple greeting - "Alrite?" Some even try to engage in short conversations - "Lovely day, isn't it?". I used to have chats with the old ladies manning the check-out tills at Tesco.

But being back here, we notice so ever clearly that the culture is different. when we try to smile at people we walk pass, it gets ignored at best, and at worst, you get dirty looks in return, like "Who you smilin' at, you perv???". Even when we go to a restaurant or pay at a counter in the local supermarkets, we are greeted wif a wall of cold silence and an expression that doesn't betray the fact that the person absolutely hates his/her job. Just the other day, i couldn't help but smile at the irony of this senior sales-person at Carrefour wif such a "I-hate-my-job-and-therefore-i-hate-you-too" expression on her face while wearing a button badge wif a smiley face on it.

Welcome home, Min An.

I know it's been almost a year but getting used to it doesn't make it any easier to deal wif it. Is it so hard to say hello?

*The first track from their second and arguably their best album, (What's the story) Morning Glory.

The Way You Look Tonight* - Tony Bennett

Just managed to catch the last half an hour of My Best Friend's Wedding on HBO just now. Really wanted to blog about it. Had so much to say. So brilliant!!!!!

But now as i sit b4 me laptop, i am just overwhelmed with the amount of work i have to do... :-(

So i'll just leave you with the lyrics of this wonderful song - and a clip of Michael Bublé singing it! Well, it should be "The Way You Look That Day" but there are so many of those days... so "Tonight" will have to do for now. Enjoy. :-)

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.
Lyrics by Dorothy Fields



*This is the version featured in the soundtrack of the movie.

Can't get you out of my head - Kylie Minogue

失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。

I quit* - Hepburn

"By doing so (confessing), I thought people would think that I am a political leader with high moral grounds ... after 61 years, I have learnt a lesson that honesty doesn't always pay".

So perhaps that is why he had been secretly having an affair with another woman. So that is why he has not kept to his solemn marriage vows. So that is why he has not been faithful to his wife and children - who ironically are standing by him now.

In any event, i ask where is the honesty??? He was caught wif his pants down, literally!!!! It is not that he chose on his own accord to come clean and be honest. If those illegal DVDs did not surface, would he still choose to be honest? Can he truly be said to be a leader with "high moral grounds"????

A colleague pointed out to me this following statement made by Soi Lek -

“I saw the DVD on Sunday when a friend gave a copy to me,” he said. He said he was unsure whether the clips were recent or old.

(Taken from the Star newspaper - see here)

So there had been so many occasions of illicit sex (and unfaithfulness to his wife) that he cannot remember whether clips on the DVD were recent or old!!!!!!

Selective (i believe) reporting by certain newspapers show that many are sympathetic to him, saying that he is only human, that we are all sinners too etc. Unfortunately, he chose to be in a position of leadership - and with power comes great responsibility. He did not commit any crime - but he was dishonest and untrustworthy to his family. How then can we trust him to be honest and trustworthy in the execution of his duties?

Even now, although he has alleged that he had apologised to all, it appears that he is sorry not so much for his indiscretion and lack of self-control (and his inability to keep his d*ck in his pants) but sorry that he was exposed.

When i saw the latest headlines in The Sun, i thought that finally he has shown some remorse. The headline read "My Biggest Mistake". But his mistake was not to be honest and faithful and maintain a high moral ground. He said his mistake was to fulfill his duties as the Health Minister and as MCA vice-president.

So there you have it - an unfaithful husband (on many occasions, recent and in the past), a dishonest person, unremorseful and unrepentant, arrogantly declaring himself to be of high moral ground, blames his problems on the fact that he was allegedly honest and diligent in his duties.

I'm glad he resigned. We do not need these kind of leaders.

For a good write-up on how leaders should behave, check out this article here.

*Taken from the soundtrack of my all time fav TV series, Buffy, it however never appeared on any episodes!!!

Again* - Janet Jackson

Here's a post from an old secret blog of mine:-

I got out of the car park and walked up the little hill leading into the office complex. i saw this blur vision of a girl wif nice hair. I put on my specs. Well, well, well. Yup, it’s the cute girl wif nice hair! :-) Even without me specs, i could recognise her hair!

I quickened my pace. This is a great opportunity to chat wif her. After all, once we reach the top of the hill, we still gotta walk a bit more ... before reaching our lift.

Ok, ok. Think of sumthing witty to say.

Or perhaps shall I be funny and try to make her laugh?

Or perhaps the serious, mature but caring mode – I can ask her how she is, how she’s coping, whether she’s facing any more difficult legal questions etc.

Or maybe I could be naughty and tease her in a good humoured way.

Whatever it is, I better decide fast cuz I was catching up. Her hair looks so nice in the morning sun. it’s more wavy now than curly. She was wearing a black blouse and a flat sole sandal. She is quite tall for a Chinese Malaysian.

Ok, I’m behind her now. Slow down a little – I wouldn’t want to be huffing and puffing when I talk to her, would i? Deep breaths.

As I begin to walk by her side, I was suddenly seized wif fear – wat if she’s not in the mood to chat? What if she is not interested at all. What if my funny line fell flat. What if she gets truly offended if I teased her? Wat if she finds the “serious” mode to be boring. Yeah, so many things can run thru my mind in a split second.

With so many “wat ifs”, I walked pass her and glanced over to her. She looked at me….

I smiled and said “Hi”.

She smiled and said “Hi”.

I turned away and sped off…

Pathetic-eh? :-(

posted by ____ @ 12/17/2004 01:12:00 AM

That was more than 3 years ago. Fast forward to present day - would you believe that i did the same thing again????? Some things never change...

*This was an Academy Award nominated song for the movie Poetic Justice where she also appeared in. This song always brings back memories of the good old days in London during me undergraduate days.