Torture* - The Jacksons

I lay flat, not allowed to move my head up more than 30 degrees. Needles were poked into various parts of my body - including one up my... . Tubes, wires and stuffs ran from my limbs and body.

Modern torture implements? Well, no. Far from from it. All of those stuffs were designed to preserve my life. Tubes ran from head draining the unwanted fluid. Calf massages were strapped on to ensure the blood in my vein doesn't thicken (and i must say it felt good!). A blood pressure thingy was on my upper arm - it automatically takes my pressure once an hour. The thing up my... erm... there? Well, there was no need for me to pass urine. Other stuffs monitored my heart beat and my intake of oxygen.

Still fresh from the op, there was no pain. I was still numb. The bed was comfy and the nurse was efficient and good. I was in the ICU and one nurse is assigned specifically to me. He/She took care of all my needs.

When i woke up, i was oredi strapped in. There was very little recollection of anything else save waking up after the op and hearing people talking, then being wheeled out and seeing a blurry image of wat i believed to be my sis and i waved at her. Thank God all the strapping and sticking were done when i wasn't conscious!!!!! But i was wide awake when it was taken off! Ugh...

I was in the ICU from 4 something in the evening on Monday until the next day when i was moved (down-graded - which is a good thing) to the HDU. On Wednesday, i was allowed (down-graded further) to go to the normal ward and be free from all tubes and stuffs.

When the doc saw me on tues, he allowed me to lift my head more than 30 degrees - but the tubes linked to my head prevented any movement.

So why did i titled this post torture?

Have u ever lie down almost flat, unable to get up or turn over, for long periods of time? All i did in the ICU was look t the clock in front of me. And eaves-drop on the nurses. Being in the op theatre for 8 hours plus, sleep did not come easy. This was worse than evigilation!!!!! And that only usually lasts 3 hours.

Thinking too much soon took its toll on me. But i found it hard to not think of anything. I even resorted to just think of the word "Nothing". But even then, after a while, my thoughts started to wander. How do i saw "nothing" in other languages.

It was worse in the HDU as my bed was in an angle that does not face the clock. There were wondows behind me - so i knew it was night time. But was 1 sumthing or 5 sumthing? I had absolutely no idea at all!!!! Some said this was better that way.

For a person like me, this was pure torture!!! And i had great sympathy for those real victims of torture who are strapped down or locked away with no light.

I'm so thankful i survived it. Managed to think thru a lot of troubling matters. Even managed to prepare the sharing i wanted to give the coming Sunday during the choir thanksgiving (which eventually i did not go).

I must say that the nurses made it better. And my family who visited me twice a day. They are the best! :-) Perhaps this helped in my mellowing too (see 2 posts below).

*The 2nd single from their album, Victory. I kinda liked their music video and i just found that it waas choreographed by Paula Abdul.