All by myself* - Celine Dion

I looked up and scanned my surroundings - like i always do when i'm eating alone, which i must say is pretty often. I kinda enjoy doing that - capturing brilliant little moments of life going on around me, little expressions of love, kodak moments, knowing looks, exchanged smiles.

My eyes fell on this auntie quite a distance away, eating her dinner. She finished her rice and then started drinking her soup, her head never lifted up but bent down onto her tray of food. When she was halfway thru her soup, she looked up - hesitatingly - and looked around uncertainly for a moment before returning to her soup.

My heart felt a tug. I dun know why but this always happens when i see older folk eating all alone outside.

A similar incident took place just one week earlier when i was whiling away some time at a KFC when an elderly woman walked in, bought 2 pieces of chicken and a cup of tea and sat right in front of me.

I guess i just wonder why are they alone? Where are their family members? Their children? Their grandchildren? Are they there alone by choice? Or otherwise?

I wonder how many people feel that way when they see me eating alone - or reading with a cup of coffee? Do people feel sorry for me, that i have no one to accompany me? Well, don't. It is by choice. I love these moments when i can be alone, and read - or eat, or watch people!

Back to last nite - my thoughts suddenly turned to me mom. That auntie over there could very well have been me mom, altho a little bit younger. And even tho me mom was at home, i wondered how many nights she would have spent like that auntie over there, eating all by herself, wishing she had some company other than the satalite TV. Me sis has been working so hard lately that she comes home rather late. I have not had dinner at home for as long as i could remember. Me dad is no longer around.

At that point of time, at the food court at Mid-Valley, i made up me mind to go back home and have dinner wif me mom as much as i can. Even of it means the two of us eating quietly, or sitting before the TV. Me mom can't be around forever, and while she still is, i better be around for her too.

*The remake of Eric Carmen's song. The verse of this song borrows a lot from one of Rachmaninoff's pieces.