As if we never said goodbye* - Glenn Close

[Drafted at KLIA on the 20th January, 2007 at 2 pm, local time]

Here I am, at KLIA, waiting for me mate to come pick me up. Beads of sweat have oredi formed on me forehead, threatening to trickle down my face. This is in spite of the fact that I’m dressed only in a thin t-shirt. I’m longing for a nice cold shower – more than yong tau foo or char kway teow!

I’m hearing the public address system make announcements in Malay, just like how all the signs are worded, although the English translation is stated below it in smaller italicised font.

I’m hearing all kinds of Chinese dialects being spoken. Even the English is in the familiar Malaysian accent.

Yet, somehow, everything seem so familiar…

Sure, I’ve only been away almost 16 months – but the last time I was away for 12 months, coming back was quite an adjustment! Seeing the palm trees along the runway made me heart beat slightly faster.

But for now, it feels like I’ve just woken up from a deep sleep… and from a wonderful dream!

Yeah, Colchester, Rayleigh Tower, London, Food-on-3 et al all now appear to be vistas of a nice dream. I’m like Alice who returned from wonderland, Frodo returning home to the Shire, Harry going back to Pivet Lane at the end of school term.

I guess I have been well prepared to return home. In the last couple of months in the UK, I’ve had had many interactions with Malaysians. I found out that I could still converse in the Malay language, my accent is still the same, and my Cantonese has improved by leaps and bounds thanks to those few weeks at the Chinese restaurant where all the full time staff are Malaysians!

And Uni of Essex is overrun with Chinese while Barking is predominantly Africans and Asians – therefore, seeing so many black-haired people in the airport needs no adjusting at all.

Maybe this would explain why I’m not at all excited at being back home. Earlier, I moved to a window seat as the plane started its descent, thinking that an aerial view of my home land would stir up some emotion in me. It din.

This is not to say that I’m not happy to be back. I have been looking forward to this day – but it’s just not the same. If only I came back under different circumstances… But I’m back now due to one reason – and to be honest, I’m dreading facing it.

Life is full of little ironies – like I finally tasted Costa Coffee after being in the UK for almost 16 months, but in Qatar! And despite being geographically closer to her now, I feel even further away than ever. And the day I was looking forward to so many months ago turned out to be something I wished would not take place... not so soon, anyway, not under such circumstances, definately.

Still, it is good to be home. I dun feel anything – but in a way, that’s a good sign, isn’t it? Home is suppose to feel as normal as normal feels.

Update - It wasn't as bad as i feared. Me dad was not so bad - he was even eating well and joking when we went out for dinner. Do continue to pray for his health. Cheers!

Update 2 - it's funny. the weekend i arrived at Colchester, Chelsea played Liverpool in the Premiership where they won. When i got home, it was Liverpool's turn to host Chelsea - and the Reds won! :-)

*Song taken from me all time fav musical, Sunset Boulevard. Glenn Close played the lead role of Norma Desmond in the US version.